Flash! Future Kung Fu (1983)

Fascism litters the landscape of dystopian cinema.  Everything from 1984 to 1990: The Bronx Warriors deals with government agencies seeking to control every aspect of a country’s economy and populace.  Fascist governments tell us what to do, where to work, how much we get paid, with whom we can associate, what we can do for leisure, etcetera.  This is a fear most people have deep down in their guts, because we recognize that, ultimately, no matter what form of government we say we have, there is always the faint possibility that the leaders of same will suddenly decide that they know what’s good for us better than we do (I mean, obviously, this never happens in real life).  This plays with the concept that power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely, something with which I do agree.  Wouldn’t it be interesting if there were a future-set story where the government is actually peopled with civil servants who genuinely care about the citizens under them, but the common people still live in a dystopian society (there probably is one somewhere; WALL-E comes close, I guess)?  Of course, we don’t see this because it goes against the simple, black and white, cause and effect we anticipate in a post-apocalyptic/future world.  A beneficent, well-meaning government would only produce a beneficent, prosperous society and vice versa, right?  The old saw of the road to Hell being paved with good intentions rarely rears its unwanted head in these scenarios, and maybe casual audiences (and filmmakers) just don’t want to try to deal with the complexities involved in such a narrative.  Thankfully, Kirk Wong’s Flash! Future Kung Fu (aka Health Warning aka Digital Master aka Da Lui Toi) sticks to the accepted script and gives us a future which is not only dystopian but also one in which the Nazi party has actually made a successful comeback (flags and all).

Yes, the Nazis are in power again, and Kung Fu students like Killer (Lung Wei Wang) constantly train, either at their Kung Fu schools or in “Black Boxing” matches (think: underground fight tournaments), to fight them.  After meeting Monique and Fever, two femmes fatale who extol the virtues of doing drugs and living life like today was your last, Killer must choose between his Master Lau’s (Eddy Ko) naturalistic teachings and getting some.  And maybe beating up some Nazis.

Homoeroticism is alive and well in Flash! Future Kung Fu.  Lau’s students love to hang out together and shower together.  Men are constantly rubbing each other to relieve sore muscles and/or to bring them back to health after getting beaten or overdosing on drugs.  The Nazis seem to have a true fascination with navy blue briefs, because just about every male in their group prances around in them.  Master Lau commands Killer to burn his collection of Playboys (which may not seem that farfetched, but considering the context of the rest of the film…).  The arcade where Monique and Fever hang out features muscle boys posing all over the place.  When Monique offers to give Killer a rubdown, he demurs, then he yells at his buddy for letting her almost see him naked.  When a male character actually has sex with a woman (involuntarily, might I add) it leads directly to his death.  What’s interesting about all this is that it isn’t presented as the Nazis being against homosexuality and the Kung Fu students being for it.  They all seem to embrace it equally.  It’s accepted as just a way of life (it reminds me just a bit of Matt Wagner’s short-lived comic The Aerialist, which posits a world where homosexuality is the norm and heterosexuality is deviant), and it leads directly into one of the other major aspects of the movie.

The main ideological conflict of the film is between the world of science versus the world of traditions.  Seemingly, Monique and Fever were grown in a Nazi lab (there’s no true explanation, as in so very, very much of this film).  The Nazis do drugs constantly, relying on scientific breakthroughs to bring them to new highs (and when that doesn’t work, they’re perfectly fine with pumping carbon monoxide directly into their own cars).  When Killer is shot up with rabies, Master Lau is offered the antidote, but he turns it away, saying it’s “a blasphemy against nature.”  Lau then takes Killer to some herbal medicine guy to get healed.  This healing process, however, is almost as barbaric as the disease and its delivery system.  Killer is rubbed with a fresh, open chicken carcass.  He beheads a snake and drinks its still-pumping blood.  He is bludgeoned with all manner of implements to harden his body.  Lau and company hold that “all-natural” is how everything should be done.  In fact, Lau sends Killer out to knock trees down with an ax as part of his training.  Theoretically, this breaks the opposing sides down further to being body versus mind.  The Nazis believe in strengthening (and enjoying) the body through science/drugs, whereas the students believe in strength through the power of the mind, their force of will.  Unfortunately, this is a distinction which is nebulous in the film, except when the head Nazi declares, “The power of the body is superior to the power of the mind.”  So there.

If my analysis of Flash! Future Kung Fu’s facets appears muddled, that’s because the film itself portrays them in muddled fashion.  Now, from what I understand, the original version of this movie was something much more elaborate and cogent.  It’s also, to the best of my knowledge, considered something of a lost film (which is not all that shocking considering China’s track record on film preservation).  More’s the pity, because this could have been something special.  As it stands, and in the only format I was able to see it (a crappy, pan and scan VHS copy), the film is a mess.  There’s no plot, no characterization, no reasons for why things happen.  In its current form, the movie simply sets you adrift in a succession of scenes, none of which matter, because we have no frame of reference for any of it.  Scenarios and interactions we expect to have some significance go nowhere and mean nothing.  The final twenty-two or so minutes are okay, because it busts out some nice imagery and moments (in a race to prevent something nonsensical which we couldn’t possibly give a shit about because it hasn’t been built up in any way, shape, or form), but it can’t save this puddle from itself.  Here’s a flash: this film is mostly junk.

MVT:  There is some decent production value on screen.  But it’s wasted on this thing.

Make or Break:  The finale.

Score:  4/10         

Strange Brew (1983)

Directed by: Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas
Run time: 90 minutes

A clause in the Canadian Broadcasting Act that, in theory, ensures a certain percentage of all public broadcasting is content made in Canada. In practice this clause is sometimes used by narrow minded bureaucrats license to be narrow minded twits. Case in point Second City Television. SCTV was filmed in Canada and the majority of the cast and crew were Canadian. The only way the show could have been any more Canadian by making your TV bleed maple syrup when the show was on. The Canadian Broadcast Company (CBC) didn't see it that way.

SCTV was set in the fictional American city of Mellonville and the CBC wanted a segment that was easily identified as Canadian. In response Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas slapped on some toques, moved the empty beer bottles from the writers room to a set, and inadvertently created two iconic characters. This led to the characters becoming the most popular segment on SCTV, which led to a couple of comedy records that sold well, and they were successful enough to get their own movie. But how do you make a feature length film centered around two joke bit characters? By borrowing the narrative from Hamlet and making Bob and Doug McKenzie the bit characters of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

The movie opens with Bob and Doug showing off their new set. Which is the old set but filmed with a wider lens so you can see all the empty beer boxes in all their glory. They also got a full orchestral version of The Great White North theme song but Doug still has to preform it. With the technical improvements and useful life hack of bringing moths to a movie theater it's time to start the movie. An eight millimeter no budget sci-fi epic that only runs for a minute before breaking down. In the theater showing this movie, the audience is enraged by the obvious rip off of a movie.

Bob and Doug McKenzie were in the audience and use the chaos to escape the angry mob. They almost escape but are stopped by protagonist kryptonite, a pair of crying children who had used their allowance to see the McKenzie Brother's movie. Feeling sorry for the kids Bob hands over fifteen dollars, their Dad's beer money, to the kids so they can make their escape.  Without beer and the money to get more beer the Brother's are forced to part in the actual plot of the movie.

There is something rotten at the Elsinore Brewery and the Brewmaster Smith (Max Von Sydow) is somehow behind it. The brewery has fired nearly all the staff, installed extensive surveillance system, and the Brewmaster is conducting bizarre experiments. Worse, the president of the brewery died in a tragic accident and the leftovers from the funeral feast have been used for the wedding banquet for the president's brother and his widowed wife. To complicate matters the president's daughter Pam now owns fifty one percent of the brewery and has left school to sort out what evil is afoot at the brewery. With the aid of the brewery foreman, a former hockey star that had a nervous breakdown, and the McKenzie Brothers they stumble about and solve who is behind the Elsinore brewery foul state.

It's a fun movie. The material doesn't take itself too seriously and the cast are acting as if this how reality works while the most surreal things happen all around them. Also the McKenzie Brothers characters are not unnecessarily padded to make them the center of the movie. The only complaint I have is how the film tends to drag when the McKenzie Brothers go over board with how stupid they are at some points. It happens at a few times and is more of a personal issue than anything else. This is a solid rental and or streaming film and worth watching if it shows up on cable and the like.

MVT: Bob and Doug taking turns using the electroshock therapy machine on each other.

Make or Break: What made it for me was the McKenzie Brother accidentally drive their van into Lake Ontario. When the police diver discovers they have been using empty beer bottles to store air he doesn't try to get them out of the van. Instead the police diver hits them up for driver's license and registration.

Score: 7.5 out of 10

Get Crazy (1983)

The first show I ever went to (I’m talking about shows in the sense of paying specifically to see bands, not go to a bar or something and there’s a band playing) was Seven Seconds.  This would have been around 1988 or 1989, I believe, and the show was at The Silo in Reading, Pennsylvania (the venue was petitioned to be shut down as a “nuisance bar” in 2012; as far as I’m aware, it was not).  I remember I wore my Gorilla Biscuits shirt (which was a medium or a large on a kid who by no means should have been wearing a medium or a large tee shirt at that time) and a pair of slacks (that’s right, slacks).  Of the bands that played, the two that I remember were, of course, Seven Seconds (this would have been during Kevin Seconds long hair and bicycle shorts phase; I don’t know if he ever came out of it) and a band from the Philly/New Jersey area called 200 Stitches (who were pretty good; I still have the demo tape I bought at the show, and I saw them again some time later when I was in college; the lead singer was amazed that someone knew a lot of the words to their songs).  During the course of getting my feet wet slamming, stomping, and basically getting sweated up, my pants tore down the back (did I mention I was a husky lad back then?), but I don’t think that stopped the fun.  I went to dozens of shows following that, but that first one stuck with me (the first time always does), because of the feelings that it elicited, feelings of freedom and commonality and the catharsis of letting out every ounce of the aggression I’d been stewing in up until then.  In its own way, and despite its flaws, Allan Arkush’s Get Crazy (aka Flip Out) does a marvelous job of evincing many of those same emotions in me.

Max Wolfe (Allen Garfield as Allen Goorwitz), owner of the Saturn Theater has a huge bash planned for the New Year’s celebration, which coincides with the fifteenth anniversary of his venue.  Calling in all his favors, he throws together a card of acts with everything from the blues to punk rock.  Stage Manager Neil (Daniel Stern) tries to keep everything together while dealing with slimy rival Colin Beverly (Ed Begley, Jr), a motley crew of backstage misfits, the various eccentricities of the performers, and the hots he develops on sight for Max’s former stage manager Willy Loman (Gail Edwards).

The first thing that will stand out to anyone from the initial minutes of Get Crazy is that it is completely and utterly not intended to be taken seriously.  Sammy Fox (Miles Chapin), Max’s nephew and cutthroat capitalist, punts a small dog across the theater’s dance floor.  Soon thereafter, he gets blown up in classic Looney Tunes style.  The theater’s crew can’t muster up the energy to get the job done, but thanks to Electric Larry, the mystical drug dealer who looks like Tex Hex crossed with the Terminator endo-skeleton, they speed their way through their tasks (see what I did there?) in one of several undercranked sequences (I maintain that undercranking should really be limited to use in episodes of Gilligan’s Island).  Virginal Joey (Dan Frischman) is a walking OSHA violation waiting to happen.  He gets punched, run over, and falls off a balcony, but thankfully pops his cherry at some point.  Every time Neil sees Willy, she becomes a sex kitten from his perspective (he looks like Tarzan in this scenario, complete with chimpanzee companion).  The lighthearted goofiness is at odds with what plot there is because it’s so over the top, but it still works fairly well.  I could see this aspect grating on some viewers’ nerves, but I also think that allowing it to ruin the experience deprives one of the full impact of the film’s core.

At its heart, this movie is a love letter to music and the collective energy of live music-going escapades.  There are ostensibly five bands that Max gathers for the show.  They are King Blues (king of the blues, played by Bill Henderson), massively-populated punk band Nada (fronted by Lori Eastside, a real-life casting director), who bring along the Animal-esque Piggy (Fear’s Lee Ving), Captain Cloud (Howard Kaylan) the totally fried hippie and his hippie entourage/cult/commune, “metaphysical” musician Auden (Lou Reed), and straight up Brit rocker Reggie Wanker (Malcolm McDowell), who, unironically, lives up to his namesake in more ways than one.  King plays first, and two of the following acts cover songs of his.  This is an act of reverence for the origins of rock ‘n’ roll, an understanding of where it came from and what modern acts owe to those who came before.  It provides a unity among the artists, a shared world of musicianship, and this translates to the reception of the crowd (though the acts being this varied might not have been as well received by the throngs of weirdo punk rockers who populate the audience, but you never know).

Further to this, Arkush and company (through some extremely deft editing; after all the man did get his start in film editing trailers for Roger Corman, and he did work in clubs, so he draws extensively from both these backgrounds) do an outstanding job of capturing just what it is that made shows like this great.  This was at a time when individuality was paramount, even within genre/style constraints.  A Fear song doesn’t sound the same as a Ramones song doesn’t sound the same as a Bad Brains song.  Personal expression, visually and aurally was very important, and this isn’t exclusive to punk (though I gravitate toward that as an example, because that’s my background).  But the individual breaks down in the face of the love for the music.  It’s the life’s blood that ties the disparate groups together (there are only so many musical notes on a scale, but everyone plays them differently), and Get Crazy really drives this point home in its pure “let’s put on a show” attitude.  It helps a lot that the actors in the film actually perform the songs on the soundtrack.  It may be nostalgia for me to say that the film took me back to the joy and excitement I used to get from going to shows, but, to be frank, I’m not against nostalgia in and of itself.  Only when it inescapably binds people to the past is it a bad thing, I think.  If more films made me feel as good and brought back as many great memories as this one did, hell, I wouldn’t be against nostalgia at all. 

MVT:  The editing in the film is truly impressive.  It keeps the rip-roaring pace up all the way through.

Make or Break:  The undercranking may be a bridge too far for some.  Thankfully, these sequences are not extensive.

Score:  7/10       

Eyes of Fire (1983)

In 1750, along “The American Frontier,” Mike Genovese plays a French soldier who steps into a room to interrogate three people (two children, one young adult).  The trio appeared mysteriously in French Territory, and there were no adults accompanying them.  Smelling something rotten in French Territory, the Interrogator (that’s how Genovese is credited) pushes the youths to tell their story.  A yarn is spun concerning Eloise Dalton (Rebecca Stanley), who, in the absence of her trapper husband Marion (Guy Boyd), took up with local preacher Will Smythe (Dennis Lipscomb) and his resident Nell-esque girlfriend Leah (Karlene Crockett).  Kicked out of their village, more or less, this collection of outcasts heads off into the wild where the danger of being picked off by Shawnee Indians is dwarfed by the threat of the malevolent Devil Witch (Russell James Young, Jr.).

Avery Crounse’s Eyes of Fire (aka Cry Blue Sky) is a film about witchcraft that has more ambition than a great many horror films of the time.  This was when Slashers were big and getting bigger, and gore and tits (male and female) were more popular than story and atmosphere (I’m against none of these things; I’m just setting the stage here).  To release a period film with some ideas behind it, no titillation to speak of, and no real bloodletting for gorehounds is daring, even if it doesn’t completely succeed.  I saw this film on VHS way back when, and back then I greatly enjoyed it, because it mixes monster elements (the Devil Witch is a crusty, baleful creation) with some quasi-literate ones.  I have to admit, however, that viewing it again thirty-odd years later, its impact has diminished, and its flaws stand out much more to me now.  The curse of the well-traveled cinephile.  Nonetheless, there are still things going on in the film that provoke some thought. 

As almost any film set at the dawn of America which deals explicitly with witchcraft does (and a whole lot set in contemporary times, too), Eyes of Fire concerns itself with ideas of religion, faith, and the conflict between spirituality and human nature.  Will Smythe, from his introduction (he rises out of his slumber, his hair and shirt disheveled, a look of mischievous amusement on his face), is portrayed as a bit of a dick and a hypocrite.  First of all, he took up with a married woman (disregarding what they say about no one knowing Marion’s whereabouts or status as either living or dead, this is still pretty shitty), concerned more with his libido than his flock.  His keeping of Leah also points to a perversity, as the woman is both free-spirited (in more ways than just sexually, but at first is displayed that way) and perhaps not all there mentally.  This pays off down the road in a way that really digs the ditch far deeper for our preacher.  After being saved from a lynching for his adultery, Smythe tells all the townsfolk that he’s leaving for The Promised Land, and none of them can come with him, but he makes it sound not only like retaliation but also like pitying condescension.  Smythe, of all the characters, is the most resistant to the idea that there are spirits out in the woods, believing the mud-encrusted beings to be merely Native American “savages.”  His books are stolen and torn apart, and during a fit of rage, Smythe stomps around shouting “Goddamn it!”  From all of this evidence, we understand that Smythe is no man of faith but a man of opportunity.  He’s a manipulator of the spiritually/emotionally wounded.  In this sense, his God is as false as his façade, particularly in the presence of the Devil Witch.

By contrast, Leah and the Devil Witch represent the might of Nature, and they are the true spiritual power of the film.  As explained to us, the valley that the settlers move to is theorized as being a mystical hot spot where the blood of people slain converges and produces vengeful spirits.  The woods themselves are alive, with many a tree sporting at least one human face.  The Devil Witch imprisons and controls the spirits here, as she is an exploiter akin to Smythe, the difference being that she has actual superhuman powers.  Likewise, nature contains the duality of man, having both good and evil in it (though I would suggest it’s more good and indifference, but that’s neither here nor there), and Leah is the positive side of it.  She communes with nature, talking to the trees (possibly the odd language she speaks when we first meet her, making her reputed mental illness more a case of spiritual visions and speaking in tongues?).  Through this communion, Leah comes into her own, finding her voice (by film’s end, she speaks perfect English) and her purpose.  The true religion of the film, then, is Nature.  Leah lives in peace and harmony with Nature, a force for good.  The Devil Witch corrupts and bends Nature to her will, a force for evil.  God and the Devil in eternal conflict.

The primary problem that I have with Crounse’s film now is that it mishandles its tones.  For every creepy, evocative moment or image, there is one that is blunt and overblown.  For example, the idea of having the spirits of the valley appear within the fog is good.  The idea of doing so with solarization effects on the image and sound effects that you would expect from an appearance by Mr. Mxyzptlk or The Impossible Man deprives the moment of any deeper impact.  It changes from understated to cartoonish in these moments.  I love the Devil Witch makeup, and some of its appearances are effective.  Others, unfortunately, are pedestrian, just another rubber monster appearance.  This film wants to have it both ways.  It wants to be ominous at the same time it wants to be a straight up creature feature, and the two don’t mesh very well.  This isn’t helped any by its lack of focus and its rather poor, often confused, pacing.  Robert Eggers’ The Witch took very similar ideas and got it mostly right (aside from that final twenty minutes or so).  I’m sure Crounse and company were so proud of their effects work that they wanted to show it off as much as possible.  I can’t really blame them for that, but I can blame them for giving up on the subtleties that would have made Eyes of Fire a better film.

MVT:  The visual effects work is nice when they’re not being overly futzed with.

Make or Break:  The first appearance of the Devil Witch.  You can decide for yourself if it’s going overboard or keeping in line with the rest of the film.

Score:  6/10