Showing posts with label 2003. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2003. Show all posts

Monday, May 16, 2016

The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String (2003)


Directed by: Terry M. West
Run time: 72 minutes

This movie is funnier than it should be. This sex comedy is a near retelling of the Lord of the Rings as told by drunk frat boys.  It's crude, vile, unrepentant, and a funny parody of The Lord of the Rings.

Instead of  four Hobbits on a quest to destroy the ring of power, it is three Throbbits on a quest to destroy the g-string of power. Throbbits are trisexual parodies of Hobbits and the reason they are trisexual is because they will try having sex with anything once. The trio of Throbbits are sent on this quest by the drunk and lecherous wizard Smirnof and that it for anything that resembles a plot.

The rest of the movie is the trio of Throbbits wandering around in some forest and meeting a fantasy trope or obvious reference to the Lord of the Rings. A crude but amusing joke is played out and then the trio wanders on to the next joke. The jokes are funny and not in the painful cringe inducing manner that Adam Sandler and Seth MacFarlane are great at.

It is a slow but funny sex comedy. If this is your thing, you want to offend the easily offended, or you hate The Lord of the Rings movies this is a movie you want to hunt down and watch.

MVT: There is a stripper scene were both the strippers and the guys watching the strippers are trying and failing to hide how awkward the scene is. This is funny as hell to me because it sums up every story I have ever heard about strip clubs in Saskatchewan and Alberta. A place where hope goes to die and the funniest train wreck all in one place.

Make or Break: The writers not beating the audience over the head every five minutes with "This is a LoTR parody, Laugh!" made the movie much more enjoyable.

Score: 5.9 out of 10

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Instant Action: The Rundown (2003)



Monkeys are freaky dude, my wife will attest to that!

Screenplay By: R.J. Stewart & James Vanderbilt
Directed By: Peter Berg

It's amazing what a pair of charismatic leads can do for a film. The Rundown has some decent elements, but take away Dwayne Johnson or Seann William Scott and The Rundown is a decidedly average action film. Misters Johnson and Scott bring the comedy when they need to, they are easy to relate to, and they sell the action really well. They also create a great buddy dynamic between the two of them, perhaps the most important element to the success of The Rundown. Beck is the big man and Travis is the little man, and their back and forth plays off of that. It's the basis for their relationship, and it's behind all of the action they endure and the comedy they produce. Misters Scott and Johnson ooze charisma in The Rundown, and they are almost solely responsible for the film succeeding like it does.

The action in The Rundown is a mixed bag. It seemed to me that Peter Berg couldn't decide on whether he wanted to do a traditional action film or take a Chaos Cinema approach. The best scenes are the ones where he takes a more traditional approach. The weakest are those where he attempts to mimic Michael Bay's Chaos Cinema style. The opening fight in a night club is full of lots of action, but it was damn hard to stay focused on the action and where characters had been/were ending up. There's also a moment during the final showdown where Mr. Berg slow cranks the action and does a lot of close up cutting. This was highly disorienting and distracted from the action. In contrast to those moments were the more traditional action scenes such as the jungle fight. That sequence is as fine of an example of high quality action filmmaking as one could hope for. The action is easy to follow and at the same time is very inventive and makes great use of Mr. Johnson's size and wrestling background.

The story in The Rundown is a very simple one. That doesn't mean it's a detriment to the film, but it does mean that the moments near the end that are trying to carry some sort of emotional weight are straining. There was no need for the sentimentality at the end of the film, Misters Johnson and Scott had sold me on their relationship and characters without need of such heart string pulling. The Rundown is a classic good guys versus bad guy where the good guys don't realize they are good guys story. It works just fine in the film, but I personally would have liked to of seen about ten to fifteen minutes of the story cut as the sentimental moments didn't add anything to the film.

I had hoped for more from The Rundown, but I still enjoyed what Mr. Berg's film gave me. This should have been the film that signified Mr. Johnson's emergence as an action star. Alas that was not to be and it would be around six to seven years before Mr. Johnson would truly be accepted as an action star by just about everybody. Still, The Rundown is a pretty darn good film with a coupe of nice action sequences and a great buddy pairing in the leads. It's shaky at times, but The Rundown should satisfy most action fans out there.

Rating:

7/10

Cheers,
Bill Thompson

Friday, May 17, 2013

Episode #235: Alexandra's Brood

Welcome back to the GGtMC!!!

We have a couple Kickstarter picks for you guys and gals and our listeners brought it as usual!!! This week we cover Alexandra's Project (2003) directed by Rolf de Heer and selected by Maurice over at the Love That Album Podcast and we also cover The Brood (1979) directed by David Cronenberg and selected for coverage by Ryan K.!!!

Direct download: ggtmc_235.mp3

Emails to midnitecinema@gmail.com

Voicemails to 206-666-5207

Adios!!!



Wednesday, February 27, 2013

In Hell (2003)



For a brief (very brief) moment in time, I was wanted by the authorities on drug charges.  Okay, maybe that’s blowing it out of proportion just a bit.  Either way, here’s what happened.  I and some friends of mine went to Canada on a fishing trip.  I had then and have now no interest in fishing or in being out in a cabin, but I did have a big interest in being able to drink legally (I was younger then; thank God for the moral turpitude of our neighbors to the North) and visit certain types of bars (the sort where there are more women dancing than men, usually).  In order to maintain the façade of at least looking like a fisherman and in the unlikely event I wound up actually trying to catch a fish, I had borrowed my brother’s tackle box for the week.  

Anyway, as we were coming back across the border into New York, the good border agents must have sensed some perfidy going on, and they asked that I pull my car over to be searched.  No big deal.  Imagine me and my passengers’ surprise when the police separated us into three rooms and began grilling us about what “junk” we had been “partying” with all week long.  We pled ignorance (which was the truth).  After prolonging our anxiety to the maximum, the authorities let us know that they had found drug paraphernalia in my tackle box, and that was why we were just moments away from body cavity searches and being thrown in the pokey (but maybe not necessarily in that order).  It appears that there was a small syringe in the box for injecting worms with air to make them more visible and appetizing to animals with brains the size of a hair’s circumference (feels like the angling equivalent of anabolic steroids to me).  After much begging, pleading, and borderline bawling, we were released on our own recognizance, sans needle.  They don’t call me the Teflon Todd for nothing.  The coppers will never catch me.

Kyle (Jean-Claude Van Damme) is an “American” working a construction site in Russia.  One evening, his wife Grey (Marnie Alton) is attacked and murdered by Sergio (Michail Elenov) while Kyle is on the phone with her.  Kyle gives chase, and eventually Sergio is captured.  However, some (unseen) negligence on the part of the police allows Sergio to go free.  Sergio taunts Kyle, and unable to live with the injustice, Kyle snatches a guard’s pistol and shoots his wife’s slayer to death.  Kyle is subsequently shipped off to Kravavi Prison, where General Hruschov (Lloyd Battista) and subordinates like Tolik (Carlos Gòmez) run the place with an iron fist, even staging bare knuckle fights between inmates.  Resisting the pressure to give in, Kyle is placed in a cell with 451 (Lawrence Taylor), a silent giant known for murdering his various cellmates.  Will the “Muscles From Brussels” survive?

Ringo Lam’s In Hell is a Prison film which is a surprisingly mature work for its exploitative elements, and while it’s not The Shawshank Redemption, to be sure, it does deal with some of the same themes.  It just deals with them through bloody, gladiatorial fights rather than through the more subtle protestations of one man and his interior struggle against the systematic subjugation of the human spirit.  The central conceit of every film of this ilk (or at least the ones I’ve seen) is the death of hope.  Even in prison, Kyle starts off close to normal, but when he is stripped upon entering the jail, he hides a photo of Grey in his underwear.  He can give up his worldly possessions if he has to, but the things which link him to his one love (the photo and his wedding ring) are the things he resists conceding (he gets to keep one of the two).  They are the chain binding him to the outside the world, to hope, even though his sentence is life without parole.  There can be no legal exoneration for Kyle, since he actually committed the crime for which he was convicted.  His spiritual redemption must be achieved by holding on to hope and passing that hope on to others.

This sense of hope ties directly into the humanity which the institution endeavors to destroy.  There are regular fights in the prison yard, ostensibly for the various gangs to settle their disputes.  But their actual purpose is to give the wardens of Kravavi and some other jail to make wagers and to amuse them and their families.  Consequently, the prisoners must be treated as savages, brought down to the level of animals in order to fight blindly, believing that they do it for power and respect (which in some ways is true).  Yet, if this were in fact solely the case, it could be argued that there is some merit to the combat.  However, because the fights are staged for reasons other than the fights themselves, there is no honor to be gained, and it is humanity which is lost.  Most significantly, this thematic conversation is embodied across four characters.  Billy Cooper (Chris Moir) is young and unassuming.  He is violated physically and sexually on multiple occasions.  He cannot effectively fight back, but he refuses to give in mentally.  Conversely, Boo (Milos Milicevic) is the result of the institution claiming total victory.  He is a gargantuan monstrosity, both non-verbal and literally faceless.  He exists solely to please his masters through the bloodletting he delivers unto them.  451 is a completely institutionalized man, but he has maintained his humanity, because he has the physical ability to withstand corporeal attacks and he has the mental ability to recognize the prison for what it is and to build a fortress inside his journals to sustain his humanness.  Sure, he has to kill the occasional yardbird who violates his rules, but that’s because he understands what the violation of his personal laws will mean to his survival inside the walls.  

Kyle needs to learn from all three of these characters, to become a gestalt of them and save himself.  This requires both death and resurrection (figuratively, of course).  Kyle must descend into the “Hell” in the basement of the prison and below the toilets (there is a river of effluent flowing through the solitary cell in which he finds himself).  It is here that Kyle will try to commit suicide several times and fail.  It is here that he will develop his body into the tool it must become to dominate the fights.  It is here that he will form a simplistic, empathetic connection that will aid him later.  Kyle’s old self may be dead, but his new self is still not what it needs to be either, because he has forgotten what that which kept him human.  In order to overcome the prison and become a leader in a spiritual sense, it will be through self-sacrifice and passivity, not uppercuts and roundhouse kicks (sort of).  It is this sort of subjugation of expectations which I would suggest In Hell a cut above what’s typical for the genre, and it manages to do this while satisfying as an Action film.  This is a solid film on multiple levels, and its appeal should extend beyond Van Damme’s core fan base.  Ergo,  I have no problems with recommending this film to you.  Enjoy.

MVT:  Van Damme shows that he’s capable as an actor when he tries (and I would say he’s been proving this quite a lot of late).  The fight scenes are surprisingly not focused on making him look glamorous, and that’s a hell of a risk for a performer who made his bones the way he did.  I wouldn’t go so far as saying that this is Oscar caliber work, but Van Damme does manage to engage the viewer in the character’s journey, and to me, that’s what acting is.

Make Or Break:  The Make is the training montage around the midpoint of the film.  It not only shows Kyle getting himself in fighting shape, but it also crosscuts with more of Billy’s story as a contrast in approach.  These two men are resisting with what they have (or think they have), and the sequence is a nice summation of the film’s conflicts through largely visual methods.

Score:  7/10

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Episode #118: The Maple Vice Squad

Welcome to a much delayed but ultimately awesome episode of the GGtMC!!!

Sammy has had some personal matters kick up and Large William and Uncool Cat Chris stepped in and put together a lovely little show for the listeners.

The week the guys cover 9 Souls (2003) directed by Toshiaki Toyoda and Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame (2010) directed by Tsui Hark.

Direct download: Maple_Vice_Squad.mp3

Emails to midnitecinema@gmail.com

Voicemails to 206-666-5207

Adios!!!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Episode #42: SuperBright Future

Samurai was out of town this week and even out of internet range...eeeek!!!! The horror!!!
Big Willy stepped in and brought good friend of the show Miles from ShowShow with him to make sure the Gentle-Minions get a show this week...
In doing so they covered Kiyoshi Kurosawa's BRIGHT FUTURE (2003) and THE SUPERNATURALS (1986)...only the GGtMC inspires this type of coverage.


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Episode #31: Killing Bill In The Badlands

In this episode, we go over content selected by our own dear Mothers. They picked a couple of very interesting films, including one film that happens to be one of the Gentlemen's favorite film of all time!!
We cover  Quentin Tarantino's KILL BILL VOL. 1 and Terrence Malick's BADLANDS. Made for some very good conversation as this episode is EPIC!!!
Plus massive feedback from the gentle listeners...


Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Episode #27: Spicy Idols AKA We Lost A Bet

Okay, okay...we lost a bet with Outside The Cinema and all is fair in love and war so they selected our content this week and they really gave it to us....
This week we cover SPICE WORLD and FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY...yeah....good freakin times....we will have our revenge OTC!!!!