Thursday, August 14, 2014

Bonus #54: Interview with Matt Hannon

Welcome to a special bonus episode between the GGtMC and viewerdiscretionadvised.net where we interview the Samurai Cop himself...Matt Hannon!!!

Hannon was thought dead but recently returned to the public through videos posted on the internet. It was a dream come true for Large William, Heather from viewerdiscretionadvised.net and myself to get a chance to speak with Matt about all things Samurai Cop and beyond!!!

Please help support Matt and his team on the venture that is Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance over on Kickstarter and let Matt know on his youtube account in the comments how much it means to you for him to reappear after all these years and your love for Samurai Cop!!!

Direct download: ggtmc_MHInterview.mp3

Emails to midnitecinema@gmail.com

Adios!!!


Wednesday, August 13, 2014

The Aquarians (1970)

Few things in the world caused me to titter with delight when I was young quite so much as the name “Lake Titicaca.”  There was a moment in time when underwater photography was a big selling point for mass media, and people such as the late, great Jacques Cousteau brought their pure sense of wonder for the deep into millions of families’ households on a regular basis.  In fact, it was through that man that I first heard this lake’s moniker, so blame him.  After all, what child wouldn’t get joy out of pronouncing two words you weren’t supposed to pronounce?  Together?  In the same word?  To my eternal shame, the name still manages to bring a smirk to my face.  Incidentally, the name “Titicaca” translates (according to some) as “Rock Puma,” and this only makes it sweeter to a pre-adolescent (and adolescent, and even adult) mind.  “Rock Puma” would be a great name for a superhero character (and, more obviously, a rock band; apologies to Dave Barry).  Nevertheless, Lake Titicaca is a large body of water, and like all large bodies of water (and some small ones) it contains mysteries both mundane and exotic.  I mean, who among us can say what truly lies at the bottom of a lake, what doesn’t want to be discovered, what will resist being dragged out into the cold light of reason?  Even with the most modern equipment overseen by the most stolid of explorers, some enigmas refuse to be unraveled.  And that’s their charm.

Don McDougall’s The Aquarians opens with plenty (and I mean plenty) of footage of the ocean depths (courtesy of Ricou Browning, director of Mr. No Legs but likely better known to cinephiles as the Gillman from The Creature From The Black Lagoon [at least in the underwater scenes; the monster was played by Ben Chapman for the scenes on land]) narrated with expository parchedness by none other than Leslie Nielsen.  In due course, we are introduced to Luis Delgado (Ricardo Montalban), the head of Deep Lab, a research station located five hundred feet beneath the waves.  After an interminable amount of nothing occurs, Delgado and his lackeys are whisked away to the African nation of Aganda (which to the best of my knowledge is fictitious, though I was never any good at geography) to investigate the sudden death of almost all sea life in the immediate vicinity.  The answer to the mystery is intriguing (and spoiled right in the film’s IMDb synopsis, not that it’s in any way shocking or all that important to the plot; it’s a straight up McGuffin), but what’s done with it isn’t.

I’m going to say right off the bat that I was let down by this film, though it posits enough compelling aspects that it’s kind of inexcusable.  A group of adventurers cruising around the bottom of the ocean is one of the most innately exciting premises ever.  There’s tension simply in the surroundings (which could kill you if you walked out the “front door”), but unlike outer space, the locales (theoretically) are easier to get to.  Add in some espionage goodness, and you bring in Disaster film elements (something Irwin Allen exploited to the hilt with his movie and subsequent television series Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea).  Further, there are Science Fiction components like the creation of an artificial gill and a deepwater submersible that’s a cross between a UFO from Monster Zero and the Venus Space Probe from what we all know were the best episodes of The Six Million Dollar Man (outside of those with Bionic Bigfoot, naturally).  Montalban proves hands down that he could carry a feature (with or without a neckerchief), and I found myself dreading the moments he wasn’t onscreen.

So, how could all of these things add up to a dry, dull viewing experience?  For starters, there is an overabundance of underwater photography.  I get that a large portion of the reason this was even produced was to showcase such images, but they tend to drag on aimlessly, becoming a blue-tinted visual drone.  The footage that does have action in it is glacial (more a matter of physics than anything else, I’d wager), and it’s not exploited properly to ramp up suspense, at any rate.  It’s all very matter of fact.  Outside of Delgado, the cast of characters are distinguishable as characters in name only.  They exist solely to be the jobs they perform, with little to no differentiation between them (the one standout being Katherine Woodville’s Barbara Brand, though this is more due to biological happenstance than anything written into the script).  

Further, the film is focused on procedure to the point of tedium.  Now, I am a fan of procedure.  I love Police Procedurals, and a good Heist film can thrill me to no end.  I am enthralled by the scrutinization of the details of a plan/crime and watching said minutiae be laid out to the smallest dust mote.  I tend to be myopic in my own approach to procedures.  That’s just me.  Nonetheless, there is no excitement generated in the procedures in The Aquarians.  It doesn’t hit peaks and valleys of overcoming and being overcome by obstacles culminating in ultimate success.  It is instead the stereo instructions of plot progression (and I mean that in the bad way).  Even when depth charges are being flung at our intrepid protagonists, it’s reacted to like plucking a long nose hair: Sure, it stings, but no biggie, and it has to get done regardless.  In fact, if an enterprising person were to research wasted opportunities in filmed media, one would be the casting of Walton Goggins in Django Unchained.  The other would be the sum totality of parts that is The Aquarians.  The filmmakers even managed to never have any direct physical conflict with the bad guys; astounding, since three of the film’s heroes are very able-bodied young men, and the villains include Chris Robinson, no stranger to badassery (see Revenge Is My Destiny for further proof).

The film isn’t empty-headed.  It’s simply poorly handled.  It has an eco-crusader angle that was big (and getting bigger) in the Seventies.  It does a nice job balancing its respect for the ocean with its notions about exploiting it (for the betterment of man, of course).  It deals with the perversion of science and the manipulation of good men for evil purposes.  The potential for the character of Delgado is enormous, as he’s a clinical prick of a man, but he cares about what he does and the people he does it with (again, expertly portrayed by Montalban).  And the film wastes all of this.  Perhaps as background noise (along the lines of the Yule Logs stations used to air around Christmas), The Aquarians could serve a purpose.  Unfortunately, entertainment isn’t one of them.

MVT:  Montalban gets the dubious distinction.  He really does carry himself with authority, and you believe that he believes every word he says.

Make Or Break:  The Break is no one scene.  It is the aggregate of the lack of action and lack of personality in the plot and every character engaged in it (save one; I’m sure you can guess their identity).  

Score:  5/10

Monday, August 11, 2014

Episode #300: The Schoolgirls in Peril Trilogy

Welcome to our landmark 300th episode of the GGtMC!!!

For our celebration and for your listening pleasure we are bringing you reviews of What Have You Done to Solange? (1972) and What Have They Done to Our Daughters? (1974) both directed by Massimo Dallamano and Rings of Terror (1978) directed by Alberto Negrin.

We hope you enjoy the episode and we want to thank all of you that have been there since the beginning and those of you that are new to the GGtMC!!! We do this for the love of cinema and sharing that with all of you makes it all worth it!!!

Direct download: ggtmc_300.mp3

Emails to midnitecinema@gmail.com

Adios!!!


Saturday, August 9, 2014

Instant Action: Road House (1989)



I’m not sure I’d be bragging about fucking guys in prison!

Screenplay By: Hilary Henkin & David Lee Henry
Directed By: Rowdy Herrington

--Patrick Swayze without his shirt on performing T'ai chi ch'uan in front of a barn.

--A waitress who appears only to fawn over Dalton, bring him breakfast, and then randomly sing.

--Terry Funk showing up, in general.

--A guy gets his throat ripped out by another dude.

--The love interest has fake baked skin that looks like rubber.

--She also sports implants that look like rock hard, sagging, bags of sand.

--Let’s not forget that she has a foreign accent for reasons that are never touched upon.

--Patrick Swayze is a bouncer who also has a degree in philosophy.

--Our villain is a villain because he has to be a villain, not for any actual reason.

--A man gets trapped by a stuffed polar bear.

--The bar owner changes graffiti from “for a great fuck” to “for a great Buick.”

--Dalton is too tough for pain, in fact, “pain don’t hurt.”

--Dalton sports a knife wound that a VHS tape could be shoved in, but it doesn’t need to be cleaned, just stapled shut.

--And finally, “I used to fuck guys like you in prison.”

Normally I don’t do reviews in the above style, but Road House is a movie that deserves the bullet point treatment. I even left a bunch of stuff out, trust me there’s a lot more greatness contained within the film. Road House isn’t a great movie, it’s pretty darn awful. Within its awfulness it reaches a place where it’s comfortable being awful and because of that it ends up being pretty darn good.

I’ll say this much for Road House, Patrick Swayze has a charisma about him. I can’t claim to have been the biggest fan of Mr. Swayze, but I always liked him as an actor. Road House is a great example of how Mr. Swayze could make ridiculous characters believable. Dalton is a bouncer philosopher, he’s pretty much a joke from the word go. Yet, as the film plays out Mr. Swayze won me over to the Dalton character through the sheer force of his charisma. There’s nothing to dislike about Mr. Swayze’s performance, he’s the one aspect of Road House that I would say is legitimately well-done.

The chances of me disliking a movie like Road House are very slim. It’s a terrible movie that revels in how terrible it can be. Ridiculous and over the top, but Road House is likable because of those elements. The action is a weird mix of brawling and beginner level kung fu, and it works every time a fight breaks out. It’s a tad too long, but that’s the only outright negative thing I have to say about Road House. When I want to watch a movie about a bouncer philosopher who rips dudes throats out, but is nice about it, there’s no other movie to turn to besides Road House.

Rating:

7/10

Cheers,

Bill Thompson

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Goke, Body Snatcher From Hell (1968)



One of the more intriguing programs that appeared on Nickelodeon back in the Eighties (aside from the obvious You Can’t Do That On Television) was a little gem dubbed The Third Eye.  It was a series of mini-series which I believe were produced in either New Zealand or Australia (I could be wrong, so an apology if that’s not the case).  Each story centered on a psychically gifted child or children and the dangers they come across/adventures upon which they embark, but all with a dark bent.  Out of the five stories aired, the two I remember anything about are The Haunting Of Cassie Palmer, about a girl who befriends a ghost (who, if memory serves, was dressed a lot like a Puritan) and Under The Mountain, about a couple of kids who go up against slimy monsters reminiscent of the Axons from the childhood-scarring Doctor Who story The Claws Of Axos (i.e. composed of so many intermingling tentacles it could almost be a gestalt creature made out of giant, pink slugs; the sweet spot for a monster kid who was forever searching for the next scare).  The Third Eye is one of those shows about which very little is mentioned these days (at least within earshot of me), and I don’t think that any of the episodes ever hit DVD in North America (again, if they did they remain well out of my line of vision).  I know Under The Mountain was remade a few years back, but I haven’t seen it, and my guess would be it’s far slicker than the low-fi series I first encountered in my youth (not that this is a judgment, mind you).  I bring this up as a tangent (par for the course for me) to an aspect of Hajime Sato’ s Goke, Body Snatcher From Hell (aka Kyuketsuki Gokemidoro) I will get to in just a couple of short paragraphs.  Care to take a guess as to what it is?    

An Air Japan flight streaks through a blood red sky.  The various passengers, including a politician, his sycophant and the sycophant’s wife, a grieving widow, a psychologist, a teenaged punk, a man dressed almost exclusively in white (right down to the gloves), and a space biologist (yes, really), all pontificate the meaning of this ominous portent, as well as the fact that the whole world is basically going to hell in a hand basket (most likely shaped like an Air Japan jet in this case).  Birds smack violently into the plane’s windows, and after a glowing UFO buzzes past, one of the engines explodes, sending the aircraft down in parts unknown.  But surviving the elements and being rescued are the least of these folks’ obstacles, as they are all about to find out the hard way.

Goke is, to put it mildly, one of the most unusual anti-war films you may ever come across.  But it’s not the message that makes it stand out so much as the messenger.  There have been anti-war films almost as long as there has been cinema, and Sato uses some interesting visual techniques to hammer the point home.  For example, widow Mrs. Neal (Cathy Horan) carries a crucifix and a photo of her deceased husband in her luggage.  This photo, however, is not of Mr. Neal in his civilian life or even of him and his wife showing the bonds of their marriage.  No, the pic is of him in uniform over in Vietnam holding a puppy.   In other words, she remembers him as a dead soldier more than as a loving life partner (the puppy is an indicator of his good nature and the senselessness of his death).  After co-pilot Sugisaka (Teruo Yoshida) is shot in the arm, his blood drips down onto this same photo, staining it with a reminder that violence begets violence.  There are multiple montages in the film utilizing some horrific images from real war footage, all tinted red (of course symbolizing blood again), for the purpose of shocking us (assumedly back to our collective senses).  But aside from these things, and the bald-faced philosophizing most of the characters trudge through (and which we expect from such fare), it is the most basic aspects of the plot which are oddest.  The Gokemidoro (the alien race piloting the UFO) came to Earth to conquer it and exterminate humanity.  Naturally, what better time to do so then when we humans are so busy killing ourselves, we are at our most vulnerable to this sort of attack?  And that’s just it.  It’s not just that we should end all wars because humans are killing humans (well, it is as a byproduct, I think), but because if we don’t, we may be killed by invading extraterrestrials (or whichever force for Evil you’d like) who can take advantage of our disunity.  

This brings me back to a discussion of the third eye (the concept, not the television series this time).  If you’ve seen stills from this film, I would hazard a guess that most likely they were of Hideo Ko as Hirofumi, the man in white.  After the plane crashes and he escapes with a hostage (stewardess Asakura, played by Tomomi Sato), he comes upon the incandescent UFO and is mesmerized.  Once inside the saucer, his forehead splits open, allowing the Gokemidoro to enter and take over his body.  From a perspective of spiritualism, the third eye symbolizes enlightenment.  It is supposed to be a way of seeing beyond normal human comprehension, of seeing the truth.  Normally, this is represented in the arts as a form of inner peace.  Yet again, the filmmakers here take an expectation and turn it on its ear.  Hirofumi was already a man of violence.  It is intimated that he shot an ambassador a day or so before the events of this story unfold.  He carries acid (and a rifle) in his suitcase.  Nevertheless, once he is bequeathed with a third eye, he does not become a man of peace.  Instead, he becomes a genuine monster, a space vampire.  Hirofumi and the aliens don’t bring harmony but devastation.  Conversely, it can be argued that this is the ultimate truth, not only of human beings, but of all lifeforms; destruction is the order of the universe.  It cannot be escaped on this planet nor on any other. In the long run, it makes for one of the most pessimistic pacifist films I have ever seen, because it doesn’t matter whether or not the people of Earth abolish war.  Apparently, there are entire universes of races out there just chomping at the bit to decimate us.  Doing it ourselves simply speeds the plow.

MVT:  I love the main idea of this film.  If nothing else can be said about it, it is unique and loaded with imagination.  The film’s structure does bog the pacing down a bit by going the formulaic route, but the ending puts a final and fitting bit of punctuation to the proceedings.

Make or Break:  The first sequence inside the Gokemidoro ship is the Make.  Aside from the repulsive special effects, the interior of the craft contains aspects of both order and chaos (rectangular frames formed with jagged edges, kaleidoscopic lighting schemes, et cetera) I find appealing for its creation of a sort of visual tension.

Score:  7/10