The Pink Angels (1976)

Every movie fan has given a cursory nod to the “so bad it’s good” label.  You can even get fancy and specific; “golden turkey,” “campy,” “kitschy,” and “jaw dropping.”  That’s all well and good, but what does it all mean in the end?

Look, I like having all of these terms in my arsenal as well.  There was one instance, however, that I wasn’t trained for at Movie Watching Boot Camp.  What happens when a film is so off the charts terrible that it doesn’t fit into your frame of reference?   What happens when all your fancy film book learning falters as a life line?  

In other words, how the hell do you explain the atrocity that is The Pink Angels (1976)?  This movie simply defies all logic, and leaves you with a head ache.  There are rational questions one might ask: What the hell did I just watch?  What was I supposed to think about it?  Why did I bother, and what would have happened if I didn’t?  

Now here’s a another piece of yarn to add to the ball: Although I’ve judged The Pink Angels to be an abomination, I’m still recommending it.  Why?  We’ll get there.   

Let me now give you a hint of a plot synopsis: The Pink Angels is quite simply about a gay, cross dressing biker gang on the way to a drag ball.  That’s an interesting, solid idea.  There should be plenty of room for character development, or satire, or zany comedy...hell, something.  

How many movies can you name about homosexual bikers?  Not many, right?  That at least grants this points for originality.  

Now let’s talk about how this little flick goes off the rails...and goes down in a blaze of glory.   

  

Here’s the first flaw: I couldn’t tell any of the Pink Angels apart.  

Working off of memory, I would say there’s five or six of them.  There are various levels of stereotype on display, from the most limp wristed queen to the almost “butch” leader.  The entire cast, quite frankly, swings for the fences and over acts.  They are playing at being “gay,” instead of convincing us they just happen to be homosexual. 

Now I suppose by today’s standards, this might be offensive.  In my mind, there are two reasons why it’s not.  1)  You can take this seriously.  2)  This is a stretch, but the wrong headed, bad attempts at acing provides the film’s amusement value. 

Okay, so it’s a bunch of unknown actors being ridiculous...that’s a moderately fun way to kill hour and a half, right?  

That brings us to the second flaw: The makers of The Pink Angels obviously weren’t content with making simple camp.  Oh no.  There is clearly a somber undertone lurking underneath the surface here.  This is a statement, man.   

If you don’t believe me, listen to the sound track.  There is a terrible theme song played through out the movie.  Picture a low rent Joe Cocker warbling: “I can see America/She’s just around the bend...Just around the bend...Just around the bend...”  It’s deep. I don’t know what it’s about, but it’s deep.

(Minor spoiler ahead.)    

Then there’s the matter of the ending: I’m not going to spoil it, but I will tell you that Easy Rider is invoked.  What’s the difference between the ending of The Pink Angels and that of Easy Rider?  Easy Rider at least makes coherent sense.  The downbeat conclusion of The Pink Angels comes out of nowhere...literally.  

What about our zany, over the top quirkiness?  How can everyone suddenly be dead?  What the hell just happened?

(Minor spoiler done.)  

Here’s the last flaw I’ll point out: Most of the filmmaking here is absolutely terrible.  There is not much shot composition, someone just pops the camera on the tripod and goes.  There is more ADR (additional dialogue recorded...dubbed in at post) than I have ever seen in my life.  Where the hell was the sound guy?   

Yet there are two sequences that are extraordinarily well done.  The first scene of the movie introduces us to the Angels as they crash a straight party.  There is slow motion, color, and emotion.  We don’t know the Angels yet, but this causes us to instinctively side with them.  They are, after all, rebels with the cause of destroying the establishment.  

The other one involves an epic, hot dog eating montage outside a greasy spoon.  Yes, it’s supposed to be homoerotic.  The main thing, however, is that it is well cut together and shot.  I wouldn’t be a hack film writer without name dropping at least once.  So here it goes: Kenneth Anger.  That’s all I am saying.   

With all of these contradictions, I’m not even sure if The Pink Angels is “bad” per se.  Just deeply conflicted and lacking direction.  

There is absolutely no production information that I can find.  That means that many of my questions will not be answered.  This would be a strong candidate for a behind the scenes commentary.  I know that will never happen.   

So I’m suggesting you watch this?  Yes.  Every fan of strange cinema needs to see this at least once.  Bask in the fact that something this odd exists.  Don’t spend over 900 words wondering why like I just did.

MVT: As I said before, the fact that this movie exists at all. 

Make or Break: The strange opening scene

Rating: This is a tough film to rate.  I’m giving it a 6, which is low.  Still, once again, see it.      

Clash (2009)

Starring:Veronica Ngo, Johnny Nguyen

Directed by: Le Tranh Son

In this kung fu caper, a prostitute turned assassin codenamed Phoenix (Veronica Ngo) must pull one final job to secure her freedom from powerful crimelord Black Dragon. Her mission is to steal a highly valuable laptop containing defense codes that control VINSTAT-1, Vietnam's satellite system. To ensure cooperation, Black Dragon incentivises Phoenix further by leveraging her daughter's life against the success of this heist.

With her daughter's life at stake, Phoenix assembles a squad of ex-cons to help her -- and by assemble, I mean they all suddenly show up out of nowhere -- and bestows them all with aliases such as Hawk, Tiger, Snake and Ox. She coldly lays out the ground rules, namely demanding no questions about their job. This scene is clearly derivative of Reservoir Dogs insofar as it involves a group of criminals meeting at a remote location, receiving codenames and, like Mr. Pink, one team member takes issue with his embarrassing codename.

After locating the sought-after laptop with some dangerous Frenchmen, whose bald heads and ripped musculature makes them look like a contingent of Georges St. Pierre impersonators, Phoenix's crew hatch their intricate plan; they march straight into a hotel and tear their way through St. Pierre wannabes with guns blazing and punch-kicking ferocity. Despite such a meticulous plan, the laptop manages to slip through Phoenix's hands and into Snake's grasp, who turns on the group and boosts the laptop to presumably sell it off to the highest bidder. I guess Phoenix was completely blindsided that the guy she named Snake wasn't trustworthy.

As the laptop search continues, a romance develops between Phoenix and Tiger to help her cope with the heartache and pad the running time between fight scenes. We're given the whole melodramatic love story shebang; Vaseline-soaked lenses, sorrowful color-tinged filter flashbacks and a sex scene set to some distractingly poppy groove music. Then we discover that Tiger isn't a genuine criminal, but rather an undercover agent trying to takedown Black Dragon and prevent those satellite codes from falling into the wrong hands. I can't lay the blame on Phoenix's doorstep for not seeing this one; a codename like Tiger carries no connotation toward someone working undercover (although, I believe Tiger's original moniker was Chameleon in a roughcut version of the film). Now, if Tiger had chewed an effeminate magician's face half off to her surprise, I'd have to start looking at resumes on Monster.com for thieves with laptop pilfering expertise and skills with assigning codenames without bad omens.

Thereafter, Phoenix and Tiger continue to mow down henchmen and chase Snake as he attempts to peddle the laptop. Their pursuit leads them back to Black Dragon as they square off against Snake, more cronies and Black Dragon in hopes of safeguarding VINSTAT-1 and saving Phoenix's daughter.

Clash (Bay Rong) is most entertaining when allowing Veronica Ngo's Phoenix to be a fiercely scowling hard-edged high kick girl. It's refreshing to witness a strong female presence, exerting her dominance over ex-con male counterparts, threateningly commanding them both with words and fists. She's apt to smack them around as evidenced when Ox gets beaten into begging for mercy after suggesting a new codename for Phoenix, Horny. I love one moment in an early fight scene where the action pauses and a random thug shatters a bottle over Phoenix's head to which she no sells completely, not feigning even the slightest reaction or flinch. This type of imperviousness is often relegated to male action stars so it's great to see the female lead given such a moment. Ngo sells herself well as a believable action star and impressively holds her own in comparison to co-star Johnny Nguyen, who brings a hefty martial arts rep to the table from The Rebel and stuntwork on various big budget Hollywood productions.

It's no surprise that Clash loses steam as Phoenix's steeliness softens and the character falls captive to horribly designed and overly predictable story trappings. Phoenix loses the majority of her crew early on, leaving no one to command other than Tiger, who is elevated from bossed-around thug to the love of Phoenix's life. Not only is the romantic slant badly drawn and cheesily conceived, it thrusts Phoenix into a paint-by-numbers subservient woman-in-action role, albeit one that throws some nice kicks, that must be redeemed by a superior male that comes to her rescue in the end. It's hard to keep interest from waning because the two leads exhibit scant magnetism. It's also odd that Ngo and Nguyen have little chemistry since they are or were apparently an off-screen item. Admittedly, martial arts films are a little bit of a cinematic blindspot for me, but I understand that diehard fanatics of this genre primarily measure these films by the action on display and care far less about the bland narrative threads.

Clash has many well-constructed fight scenes filled with aerial takedowns and high-flying strikes amidst continuous henchmen droves. This is a credit to first time director Le Tranh Son's craftsmanship that all the fighting appears to be practical without wirework or any CG enhancements. The camera captures the action without flash, supporting a grittier feel over sensationalism. There's also a uniqueness in the fight choreography through an abundance of submission maneuvers utilized, ranging from neck cranks, leglocks and armbreakers. The downside here is that the combat may be too choreographed, working against the naturalistic exchanges and making the grappling more closely aligned with a MMA bout due to the quick array of submission reversals and escapes. If there's one prime criticism, it's that all the fight scenes are crafted in a similar fashion; there's very little differentiating the fights, leaving each one without any definitive identity of its own. The fight scenes try to keep the film afloat, but the script is like a pair of cement shoes sinking the entire picture.

Make or Break scene - The Reservoir Dogs-inspired assembling the crew scene makes the film. If not for this scene, it would be hard to stick with Clash after the sheer fun factor dips off so severely. For her part, Ngo's at her best here, exuding an icy glare and forceful command of the crew gathered. It's a lot of fun as well when Mr. Pink deja vu kicks in when the roly poly Ox complains about his codename then receives a stern face-bashing from Phoenix for doing so.

MVT - Quite easily, the fight scenes. While they never approach greatness, they are firmly in the very good category despite the aforementioned flaws. In short, the fight scenes are the glue holding together this anemically plotted film. There's just enough action bursts to keep you from nodding off or ejecting the disc. At least, in part, the fights were enough to drive this film to the #1 position in Vietnam for the 2009 box office.

Score - 6.25/10

The Last Days of Man on Earth (1973)

I have never read The Final Programme, the original novel The Last Days of Man on Earth (aka The Final Programme) is based on nor any of author Michael Moorcock’s other Jerry Cornelius stories. I have no idea where the film and novel diverge and converge. However, if Robert Fuest’s movie is any indication, this is a world (or worlds) I’d like to revisit in the future.

The story is basic, but the details get complicated. Civilization is slowly breaking down. The third World War has been going on for years, “but everyone’s so busy watching the bleeding commercials, they haven’t noticed.” Rakish dandy and anarchic scientist Jerry Cornelius’ (Jon Finch) geneticist father has died, and Jerry is approached by the group of scientists with which dad had been working in order to find some missing microfilm vital to their project. They are led (seemingly by leashes around their genitals) by vampish computer programmer Miss Brunner (Jenny Runacre). Jerry, who just wants to napalm the family estate and run off somewhere to await the inevitable apocalypse, eventually comes around and aids the scientists in the culmination of their messianic plan.

This is a science fiction film in the same way “The Avengers” was a spy show (as a matter of fact, Fuest worked on the influential, pop-culture-influenced/influencing program), and if you enjoy that, chances are you’ll enjoy this. The movie is filled with stylistic and absurdist touches, and there are all sorts of oddball things brought up in building the story’s world. Some are explained, and some are left to the viewer to decipher, and some are really nothing more than throwaways.

Though the production design seems to waver between whatever locations were available and meticulously art-directed sets, it is always interesting to look at. This is obviously sci fi on a budget, but the film never lets that get it down. Like Dr. Phibes’ lair and the Clockwork Wizards of Fuest’s earlier film, (The Abominable Dr. Phibes, natch), TLDoMoE bears a heavy art deco look and feel about it that is wonderful to behold. It also has some nice nods to its chosen genre, like the plastic needle guns and the human pinball game.

The film, to its slight detriment, bears the marks of its time. Handheld, fish-eyed shots, nonlinear smash cuts and zooms, and the use of negative effects as visual effects seemed to occupy a place in just about every movie of this era. Sadly, instead of creating a groovy, psychedelic atmosphere, all they seem to do is create amused chuckles, especially in the wake of such films as Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. Personally, this style has never worked for me, and I always felt it was distracting and unnecessary. Also, Jerry is a drunkard and inveterate pill-popper, while Miss Brunner will bed down with just about anyone at anytime. This casual attitude towards drugs and sex probably wouldn’t pass muster today, at least not in mainstream cinema, but this is a counterculture film. It’s expected, required almost.

The acting is solid from everyone, and though no one goes full-on camp, some do get dangerously close. Sterling Hayden, for example, plays Jerry’s “Q”-like associate, Wrongway Lindbergh, in a scene that I’m still not sure should have stayed in the movie. Hayden saunters about his digs, taking phone calls and doling out exposition. And then he looks right in the camera. True, this sort of self-reflexive rulebreaking is a charm of the film, but here it feels more like winking at the audience, and, to me, there’s no faster way to lose them than doing that. That said, Finch and Runacre do a marvelous job carrying the film, and their Steed-and-Peel-esque chemistry helps immensely in holding the movie together.

Because there is so much Fuest tries to squeeze into his adaptation, the characters never get fully developed. There are no arcs for the characters to follow, per se. They essentially start and end, emotionally anyway, at the same point. I bring this up not as a criticism but as a reality of the final product. This is a movie about ideas with the chase for a McGuffin as the central thread. Scientific mysticism sits next to religious allegory sits next to eugenic conspiracies and so on, and the characters are more archetypes than individuals, but they’re so charming you don’t mind at all.

Once the plot reaches its final act, the more fantastic aspects of the film really take off. We’re treated to a lot of technobabble, none of which makes much sense (at least to me), and none of which really needs to. We simply need a reason to believe that what we are witnessing can happen in the film’s universe, and we’re given it. The outcome of the film’s climax, while ridiculous and kind of a letdown (how could it not be, really?), still feels totally appropriate. The movie’s imagery is somewhat ambiguous in the final moments, but the point is not: “Time to start building anew.”

TLDoMoE is a film that succeeds in spite of itself. There are subplots brought up and never paid off, characters whose destinies are not revealed, and some really great theories that are brought up as a matter of course and never heard from again. It is ludicrous at its core, but it is brought off with such style and splendid performances, you buy into its world of organized chaos and the characters who inhabit it. Somehow, I don’t feel my little, incoherent rant here is doing justice to a unique film. Suffice it to say, highly recommended.

MVT: Robert Fuest’s design and direction really keep this film on what track it has. It’s bold but pleasing to look at, and there’s always something to command your attention.

Make or Break: The first scene of Jerry’s father’s cremation sets the tone of the film. For me, its unexplained eccentricities lured me in immediately, and I stuck around for the rest.

Score: 8.5/10

Episode #135: Pirates and Coconuts Ahoy!

Welcome to another episode of the GGtMC and the last of our Ladies Appreciation shows for this year. We brought back dear friend of the show Rupert Pupkin for some film chat and we hope you enjoy the conversations about the films that were selected this week.

This week we cover The Pirate Movie (1982) with Kristy McNicol and Christopher Atkins and Goin' Coconuts (1979) with Donny and Marie Osmond...thats right folks it's that kinda show!!!

Direct download: Pirates_And_CoconutsRM.mp3

Emails to midnitecinema@gmail.com

Voicemails to 206-666-5207

Adios!!!

DVD/Blu-Ray Picks Of The Week - 6/7/11

Samurai's Pick: THE STUNT MAN (Region 1 DVD and Blu-Ray; Severin)
This is one of the truly ORIGINAL pieces of cinema ever made. It is imperfect in some ways but I have experienced very few films like it in my lifetime...BUY!!!

Links:
Amazon Blu-Ray and DVD
Blu-ray.com Review
High-Def Digest Review and Specs


Large William's Pick: THE HOUSEMAID (Region 1 DVD; MPI)
My DVD pick of the week, is Im Sang-Soo's gorgeous, sexy meticulously crafted erotic thriller, The Housemaid; it was a top 10 pick for me from the past year, and although the term erotic thriller usually is enough to make me roll my eyes, this one is sublime. From the cinematography, to the acting, to the absolutely immaculate production design, I can't say enough good things about this one. It has a sprinkle of black comedy and enough class commentary to work for almost anyone... I have one minor beef w/ the film, near the end, but it had built up SO much goodwill with me, that it didn't matter. This film proves the SoKo is still making first class films.

kisses,
William

Links:
Amazon DVD


Rupert Pupkin's Pick: NEW YORK NEW YORK (Region 1 Blu-Ray; MGM)
Like BARRY LYNDON last week, NEW YORK, NEW YORK is often left off the list of interesting films from Scorsese's filmography. It's a tough watch at times and you can perhaps feel a bit of whatever it was that Scorsese was going through at the time coming through as far as some of the more out-there stylistic choices. Regardless, it is a love story I enjoy. Their are some unforgettable scenes in this, at least for me. Oddly funny in moments too, which is unexpected as Scorsese was inspired by downer musicals like BLUE SKIES and MY DREAM IS YOURS.

Links:
Amazon Blu-Ray


They Call Him Chad's Pick: RUBBER (Region 1 Blu-Ray, Magnolia Home Entertainment)
A living tire prowls the desert landscape exploding anything and anyone in its path with deadly telekinetic powers. If that one-liner doesn't hook you, then let me slip one more juicy piece of bait on the hook...Rubber also stars the GGTMC fav Wings Hauser! It's an impressive (though, possibly very divisive) mix of arthouse indie spirit meets low budget dark comedy horror. I'm all for practical effects, no matter the simplicity. Be forewarned, the score's addictive and it'll be lodged in your gray matter for quite a while after the first viewing.

Links:
Amazon Blu-Ray and DVD
Diabolik DVD and Blu-Ray
Blu-Ray.com Review


Aaron's Pick: EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE/ANY WHICH WAY YOU CAN - 2-Movie Collection (Region 1 Blu-Ray; Warner Home Video)
It's a bit hypocritical of me to recommend this since I don't have a Blu-Ray player, but if I did I wouldn't hesitate to purchase this double-feature of Clint Eastwood comedies. EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE has already been released on Blu-Ray, but I believe this is the first time that its sequel, ANY WHICH WAY YOU CAN, has been released in Region 1 high-def. I'm not sure why Warner Home Video decided to package ANY WHICH WAY with its predecessor instead of on its own, but, whatever the case, you're getting two entertaining films in high-def for a VERY low price. I mean, who in their right mind wouldn't want to see Clint Eastwood and William Smith trying to out-macho each other in HD?

Links:
Amazon Blu-Ray

----Martijn of OMG Entertainment's Bonus Region 2 Pick of the Week----

WITCHFINDER GENERAL (Region 2 Blu-Ray; Odeon Entertainment Ltd.)
All kinds of movies are turning up on Blu-Ray that I didn't expect to see so early on this relatively new media. This is one of them, it's been ages since I saw this one but I remember a very strong performance by Price and a grim and humourless period horror piece that holds up fine after all these years.

Links:
OMG Entertainment
Amazon.co.uk

Bonus #34: Interview with Damon Houx

This week, West Coast correspondent Rupert Pupkin talk to Damon Houx. Damon is a film writer who was a long time staffer at CHUD.com, but now does the majority of his work for WWW.SCREENCRAVE.COM. Highly recommended are his appearances on The Criterion Cast. Hope you enjoy this great conversation with a gentleman who is passionate about all kinds of films and knows them well.

Direct download: DHINTrm.mp3

Emails to midnitecinema@gmail.com

Voicemails to 206-666-5207

Adios!!!

Day of Anger (1967)

Directed by: Tonino Valerii

Starring: Lee Van Cleef, Giuliano Gemma

This spaghetti western centers on Clifton City's young and feeble push-around outcast known only as Scott (Giuliano Gemma). The self-proclaimed good people of Clifton City treat Scott like a slave, smacking him around, ridiculing him and forcing him to do all the dirty work such as dispensing with buckets of poop juice from the outhouse. Apparently, the townsfolk abuse Scott because he's the bastard son of a town whore, who died when Scott was so young that he never even learned his real last name. This explains those rare Region 7 video import releases with the alternate title The Man With No Surname.

Scott can do little more than take the abuse. He has few friends, and those friends -- a brothel madame, local drunk, his shabby donkey Sartana and elderly father figure and former sheriff Murph -- are not in any position to help him out of this situation. That is, until, ruthless gunfighter Frank Talby (Lee Van Cleef) arrives in Clifton City and takes Scott under his wing. He teaches Scott to stand up for himself, buys him his first gun and even gives Scott a last name; Mary, the name of his passed away mother. It takes a genuine badass to pull off a name like Scott Mary. From here, their relationship delves into master and apprentice as Talby teaches Scott the 9 Rules of a Gunfighter:

1. Never beg another man.

2. Never trust anyone.

3. Never get between a gun and its target.

4. Punches are like bullets. Make the first ones count or you're finished.

5. If you wound a man, you better kill him or he'll kill you.

6. Use the right bullet at the right time.

7. Before you untie a man, take his gun first.

8. Don't give a man any more bullets than he has use for.

9. Sometimes you have to accept a challenge or you'll lose everything in the end, anyway.

While these sentiments may sound hatched from Old West fortune cookies, they're an accurate checklist for gunfighter survival. Talby adds a 10th rule in the final showdown ("Once you start killing, you can't stop").

Talby's true motive is to collect a $50,000 debt owed to him by his former partner, Wild Jack, for a robbery they pulled prior to his ten year prison stint. As it turns out, some of the so-called honest citizens of Clifton City swindled Wild Jack out of this haul. We discover these are the most powerful men in town -- the judge, the banker and the saloon owner. With Scott's help (and fueled by vengeance), Talby rapidly takes over Clifton City by deadly force and blackmailing these men with the secret of their thievery.

Scott happily serves as Talby's gun-toting lapdog until old Murph voices concerns, claiming Talby's corrupting Clifton City and making a good town go bad. Evidently, Clifton City somehow defines "good" as harassing an orphan, stealing large sums of money and blasting rock salt into the local drunk's ass for pitching stones into empty glass bottles. Seems the town's better off with Talby to me, but who am I to question Murph? Murph eventually stands against Talby alone, leaving Scott to choose between his old life and his new one.

The real strength of the film lies in Van Cleef and Gemma's casting and performances. They perfectly compliment one another in the master-protege template. Van Cleef looks haggard, surely and savvy whereas Gemma is fresh-faced, good-natured and naive. Their careers nicely contrast as well; at this stage, Gemma is a new star to spaghetti westerns coming off the highly successful Ringo films compared to Van Cleef as a well-established veteran star of the genre thanks to his legendary work on Sergio Leone's Dollars films. Van Cleef brings instant credibility and a likable villainy that few, if any, others could as believably deliver and impress upon Gemma's naturalistic innocence and eagerness.

Day of Anger was directed by another spaghetti western staple, Tonino Valerii, who previously directed A Taste For Killing and thereafter helmed the more well known comedy western My Name s Nobody. As a former Leone assistant, Valerii displays numerous Leoneseque qualities, so much so that you could envision Day of Anger as a pre-Dollars trilogy Leone picture. Immediately, you'll notice Leone signatures in the set design that primarily re-purpose Dollars trilogy locations. The stone circle from the final showdown in For A Few Dollars More makes a cameo. In addition to Van Cleef, Valerii utilizes Leone regulars, Al Murdock (The Good, The Bad & The Ugly, Once Upon a Time in the West), in the role of Talby's former partner, Wild Jack and Benito Stefanelli (Dollars trilogy) in the role of Owen, the killer hired to oust Talby.

What sets Day of Anger apart is the progression of the characters, a rarity for the Spaghetti Western. Here, we witness Scott Mary evolve from a picked-on garbage boy simpleton to a feared gunslinger on confidence overload. Talby's stature grows immensely, transforming from a snarling gunman into a calculative political overlord. The film is also crafted with subtle character beats that are more informative than the surface level may indicate. For instance, when Talby purchases Scott's first gun, he deliberately steers him away from shorter barrels better suited for fast draws toward a much larger long barrel firearm that's less efficient. The implication set is that Talby has slyly built an advantage for himself against Scott if a showdown occurred.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that spaghetti westerns were a discussion topic on a recent GGTMC episode, specifically as to which actor symbolizes the genre. If I recall correctly, the vote favored Clint Eastwood. I agree with this, but I must say that Lee Van Cleef nearly steals the crown for me. When I think of spaghetti westerns, the Man With No Name pops to mind, but when I think Eastwood? I don't always think of the Dollars films, sometimes it's Dirty Harry or maybe Clint the Director, etc. When I think about Lee Van Cleef? I always think of a spaghetti western. It's kind of similar to a sports franchise where maybe Eastwood is immortalized as the MVP for a championship reign then moved on to other teams, but Van Cleef is the beloved fan favorite by playing his entire career for the same team.

Despite Lee Van Cleef's presence, Day of Anger has remained a hidden gem amongst spaghetti westerns. It has risen in notoriety in recent years due to Quentin Tarantino (who else?) playing the film at one of his QT film fests in Austin and listing it as his 7th favorite Spaghetti Western of all time. If you're a fan of the genre, Day of Anger won't measure up to the big four Leone films, but I think you'll find Valerii's picture deservedly ranks with the best non-Leone spaghettis ever made.

Make or Break scene - In an early scene, Talby invites Scott to have a drink at the saloon, but Scott's soon threatened by a rowdy bar patron who Talby guns down in Scott's defense. This scene makes the film as it gives you a reason to like Talby and understand why Scott would follow him. It builds goodwill for Talby that allows one to dismiss his misdeeds and really feel Scott's struggle in choosing a side between Talby and Murph at the film's climax. Plus, by this point, you despise the citizens of Clifton City and you're ready for a little vengeance to be dealt.

MVT - Giuliano Gemma. The entire film hinges on Gemma's performance and the man comes through. If you don't believe his character's change then the film just does not work. Further to this, Gemma does not simply flip the switch from weak to strong, good to bad, but rather he manages to somehow retain this unique boyish wholesomeness after becoming a vengeful killer, always reminding you where this darker persona grew from originally, something like a blood thirsty kid in a candy store. The performance makes one re-consider an earlier scene where Scott childishly practices his quick draw with a wooden gun held by a rope holster as not a goofball example of his poverty, but rather a darkly insight into a young man's mind hellbent on the day when he'll have his revenge.

Score: 8.25/10

Pulgasari (1985)

As anyone who has ever seen M*A*S*H knows, the country of Korea has long been at war with itself. Still, that hasn't stopped North Korea's "Supreme Leader" Kim Jong-il's love of South Korean films. In particular, he enjoys the work of Sang-ok Shin and admires his oeuvre so much, he had the director kidnapped and brought to North Korea. Shin eventually escaped (and would go on to direct such classics as 3 Ninjas: Knuckles Up) but not before he directed this daikaiju film for Jeong-il.

The story of Pulgasari (aka Bulgasari) has many antecedents in both myth and pop culture. It bears similarities to "The Golem of Prague", the Daimajin series, and even Gojira. However, I feel the film it most closely resembles, in spirit anyway, is Mighty Joe Young.

The story takes place in feudal Korea. The evil king (Yong-hok Pak), who has displays of histrionics that would put Fred Sanford to shame, regularly raids small farming villages, confiscating iron to manufacture weapons. Opposing him are the rebels, led by Inde (Ham Gi Sop), blacksmith Takse's (Gwon Ri) apprentice and Barry Prima impersonator.


When Takse is tortured and imprisoned for helping the rebels hide iron from the king's men, the old man blames an iron-eating monster named "Pulgasari." Takse's son, Ana (Jong-uk Ri) and daughter Ami (Chang Son Hui) throw rice into his cell for Takse to eat, but the blacksmith, knowing his days are numbered, fashions the food into a tiny figurine of the titular monster and prays to the gods to let it take revenge for his people's suffering. A drop of Ami's blood animates the tiny creature, and it is soon discovered that the beast has an insatiable appetite for all things metal. As the monster grows to giant proportions, Ami conscripts it into the rebels' struggle with the king.

Pulgasari, as a character, walks a thin line between force of nature and purposeful protagonist. He has a personality (of a sort), but his actions are dictated more by plot needs than any type of attempt at individuation. Sometimes he does as Ami wants, and sometimes as he was made to do. The link between Pulgasari and Ami is emphasized in the film's second half, and it has an interesting, if ultimately confusing, conclusion.


Unlike other movies in this genre, there's a definite sense that General Fuan's (Riyonun Ri) soldiers actually have a chance of defeating the giant. All too often, you know that everything an army throws at a monster like Godzilla or Gamera will only bounce off or, at best, slow him down. that's why daikaiju movies work best when there is another monster to fight. The odds are more evenly matched. That said, Fuan's traps, though large and constructed on unrealistically met schedules, do instill a confidence in their effectiveness.

The special effects are the meat and taters of the film, and their director, Teruyoshi Nakano, delivers nicely. Though there's some dodgy rear projection shots, and Pulgasari's size fluctuates from shot to shot, the monster's design and construction are solid. The miniature work is also effective and shot convincingly. Even the full-size Pulgasari feet never come off poorly.


The movie maintains a nice pace, not through its use of the m0nster but through the story of the rebels' fight. The two sides go back and forth with one, then the other gaining the upper hand. The battle scenes, while a bit on the sloppy side, have enough action to revive interest whenever the story slows down. It can be argued, in fact, that without this structure, the film would not be as good as it is.

The movie doesn't rely solely on military or physical aspects in its conflicts. There are magical and even spiritual facets that are touched on. Granted, they are entertained only long enough to move us to the next plot point, but that they're brought up at all is admirable. This leads into the Golem-influenced resolution, where the film deals with the problem of what to do with a being like Pulgasari (essentially a living weapon) after its (military) usefulness has expired. The solution feels inevitable, but there is a sequence in the film's final moments that may have you scratching your head.


Pulgasari is far from a perfect film. The acting is manic and overwrought. The editing has a tendency to violate the rules of Time and Space. Nonetheless, there's more in the "Plus" column than in the "Minus" column by film's end. It's not a classic by any stretch, but it is a solid, entertaining entry in the genre. Who would have thunk it?

MVT: Pulgasari - a nice character design and some good special effects work are the flame for moths like me.

Make or Break: The underlying narrative, while fairly boilerplate and sometimes repetitive, keeps moving along nicely, and the conflicts therein generate interest enough. That'd be a "Make" for me.

Score: 7/10

Merchants of War (1989)

Director: Peter M. Mackenzie
Starring: Asher Brauner | Jesse Vint | John Barrett | Adrian Waldron | Graham Weir | Robin Smith | Japan Mthembu

No one made explosive xenophobic war action like the United States in the 1980s. Between Sylvester Stallone’s Rambo sequels, the Commie-obsessed output of Chuck Norris, and roughly 80% of Cannon Films’ entire catalog, there was no shortage of movies about the agents of Lady Liberty taking the world’s evildoers to the woodshed. Somewhere in between television appearances on Matlock and Beauty and the Beast, and a prominent part in Wings Hauser’s directorial debut, Asher Brauner found time to pen and star in 1989’s Merchants of War. While it’s a worthy addition to a bloated genre, there are some flaws which hold it back from true hidden gem status.

More than a decade removed from roles in in Macon County Line and Black Oak Conspiracy, Jesse Vint shows up for a few days of work as Frank Kane, the grizzled veteran in a team of mercenaries. His group also includes the artillery-obsessed Harry Gere (Smith) and the karate-obsessed Tom Harris, played by John Barrett. Rounding out the group is the mullet-obsessed Nick Drennen (Brauner), a man who longs for yesteryear and a steady paycheck.

This collection of talent is available to stir up a shit storm wherever the American intelligence community pays them to do so, and their latest operation finds them rescuing a prisoner from a terrorist outfit in Beirut. During a slam-bang action sequence, Drennen guns down a female radio operator mere milliseconds away from detonating a grenade. Apparently shooting chicks with funny accents just ain’t what it used to be, because this moment convinces Drennen that it’s time to hang up the proverbial spikes on his mercenary career.

However, the group’s agency contact has a cakewalk of a reconnaissance mission brewing in Angola and Frank and Drennen are just the guys for the job. Predictably, fate takes a giant shit in the middle of the cakewalk and both heroes are captured by enemy forces led by the sleazy duo of Vaisal (Weir) and Musa Atwa (Waldron). Both Caucasians playing crazed Islamist terrorists. Both with amazing hair. (To be fair, Weir goes all-natural. Waldron set his Jheri-curl activator to “STUN” and opts for an incredible mullet wig).

Since Brauner wrote the movie, Drennen’s incarceration is the narrative focus. He eats bugs off the dirt floor of his sweat lodge of a cell. Guards laugh at him on the regular. Along with his fellow inmate and Angolan rebel, Gordo (Mthembu), he is forced to shovel dirt for no particular purpose. Worse yet, he is subjected to an interrogation tactic so painful and inhumane that not even Bush-era CIA officials would dare employ it: a wet, rolled-up newspaper jabbed into the victim’s armpit. Drennen’s whimpering during this curious torture sequence is underscored by Vaisal’s mocking cheer of “the power of the press!”

 

Without going into too much detail about who and when and how, there’s a daring escape, two rescue missions, a kidnap mission, and the madness comes to a giant red, white, and blue head at a meeting of corrupt global leaders in Angola dubbed, quite literally, the “Third World Convention.” Picture a really big high school auditorium filled with every flavor of 80s action movie villain stereotype and one or two miniature American flags on fire. There, you’ve got it.

The acting in the film vacillates from hammy to downbeat to kind of awful. Barrett and Smith aren’t given a ton to work with and Brauner is passable the majority of the time. Vint grounds the story as best he can by bringing a world-weary demeanor to his performance, but comparatively he gets a pittance of screen-time, none more hilarious than his ten seconds worth of screaming faces behind the sound-proof glass of his holding cell. The villains are over the top to such a cartoonish extent that it’s difficult to take either of them seriously as threats. Does Aldron’s mullet wig make up for his clumsy Middle Eastern accent? Not quite. How about him cavorting with two foxy chicks in a hot-tub? Slightly. All while using a straw to snort cocaine out of a martini glass? YES. Whoever said Islamic fundamentalists can’t cut loose and have a good time apparently never met Musa Atwa.

The action is pretty good when it happens but there’s a lot of downtime in between the set-pieces. Not having John Barrett kick someone in the face until 80 minutes into your 84-minute film is a huge wasted opportunity and a massive failure by the film’s stunt coordinator. The film’s stunt coordinator? John Barrett!

On the technical front, the sound design and editing were spotty at best. The former in particular is puzzling during some moments -- when enemies get punched or shot without a sound -- and hilarious during others, like when John Barrett’s elated and victorious “YEAH!” is dubbed with a downbeat affirmative response to the question: “Have you lived in your current state for at least five years?”

All these issues aside, the most frustrating aspect of Merchants of War is its failure to grasp what makes “men on a mission” films entertaining: the different personalities that comprise the groups. We get plenty of scenes with peripheral characters talking about the group but we don’t get nearly enough scenes with members of the group talking to each other. Thus, we learn very little about them. Frank and Drennen share a quiet early scene where Frank laments that the group has “been trained to pull the wagons but with the coming of technology, the horses get left behind.” You might also say that with the coming of Brauner’s final draft deadline, any semblance of dynamic characterization got left behind. It’s a bit unfortunate because there’s enough dramatic talent between the core performers to bring some flavor -- probably hammy -- to the proceedings.

Make or Break: The opening action scene. A furious orgy of squibs and gunfire followed by a getaway in a jeep with the soft-top down and Jesse Vint taking a victory swig on a bottle of J&B and an opening rock song that declares "you don't need to know what you're fighting for!" and WE’RE ONLY FOUR MINUTES IN!

MVT: The rampant xenophobia. Between the aforementioned “Third World Convention,’” the various ethnic slurs, and the general disregard for cultural sensitivity, Merchants of War exhibits a level of Reagan-era paranoia that actually borders on clever if you read the film as a satirical farce. If you don’t, you will regard the filmmakers as small-minded dickwads.

Score: 6.5/10

Though the action scenes are sparse, the writing is clunky, and the character development is all but ignored, Merchants of War can still be an enjoyable romp if you view it for what it is: a tight 84 minutes of sweat, mullets, and gunfire.

Alien From The Deep (1989)

Eco-warriors Jane (Marina Giulia Cavalli) and Lee (Robert Marius) infiltrate a jungle island with the aim of blowing the lid off evil corporation E-Chem's dumping-nuclear-waste-into-a-volcano scam. Bob (Daniel Bosch), the quasi-mercenary snake farmer, joins in the fun after his slick moves fail to charm Jane ("Don't touch me, you snake squeezer!") into his bed. They inevitably butt heads with Colonel Kovacks (Charles Napier), the head of the waste-dumping plant, as well as a giant alien who is attracted by the raw power of the radioactive material and can infect humans with its touch. Got all that? Good.

As you're probably aware, Antonio Margheriti (credited here under his "Anthony Dawson" pseudonym) has long been a mainstay of Italian exploitation cinema. And, if you're a fan of exploitation cinema, you know that no one does rip-offs like the Italians. Here, the cash-in is focused on James Cameron's Aliens, but I'm not so sure the film knows that. The whole extra-terrestrial aspect of the story feels tacked on (pretty much beginning and ending in the film's third act), almost as if Margheriti spotted the movie's poster one morning about three quarters of the way through production and realized, "Oh yeah, there's supposed to be an alien in Alien From The Deep. Up until this point, the film has been a decent little jungle adventure, complete with smoldering, papier mache volcano (but more on that in a moment).

The characters are stock for this type of affair. The hero is stoic but not uncaring. The heroine is independent and idealistic but still needs a man to lean on. Her companion is a placeholder for the hero. The villain is cruel and single-minded. And the nutsy-cuckoo nuclear physicist (Luciano Pigozzi) is always right, even when postulating the most outrageous theories. Plus, the henchmen are uniformly incompetent. All the actors ACT with all their might, even in the quietest scenes. And, while it's always fun to watch him growl his way through a performance, even Napier takes it one step beyond.

Naturally, one doesn't watch a movie like this for its thespian excellence. No, movies like this exist for pure entertainment purposes, and, on that score, Alien From The Deep delivers. Margheriti is a skilled craftsman at pacing, and the film never lags enough to bore the viewer. In fact, I would argue that the only time you'll look at your watch while seeing this film is when you start wondering where the hell the alien is. As an aside, the editing in this film tends to favor the non-disclosure of events. By that I mean, something will happen directly offscreen, but we're shown a character's closeup or somesuch. We then cut to the effect of the unseen action, say a tree falling after being hit by something. Whether this technique is due to budgetary constraints or lazy coverage is debatable, but my suspicion lies with the former.

There's a lot of miniature effects work in the movie, and it rarely, if ever, comes off as convincing. Thank God, because it just adds another layer of fun to be had. The island's volcano looks like it's ready for some sixth grader to pour vinegar down the top and take third place at the science fair. The most entertaining miniature use, however, involves intrepid guard Rodney, a boat, and a dock loaded with high explosives. You'll think you're watching something from Sid & Marty Krofft. Additionally, there's at least one nice mannequin death, and there are some okay gore effects, too.

Finally, let's look at the Aliens aspect of the film (I figure, if Margheriti doesn't have to bring it up until the end, neither do I). The creature's first (and second, and third) appearance will leave you thinking it's a giant mollusk with a stiff neck. However, we find out in the sidesplitting finale that there's much more (and much less) to it. The design will not have H.R. Giger fearing for his livelihood. It consists of "stuff" glued onto a stiff understructure with tubing wrapped around it, and it performs like a Punchinello marionette. I mean, it's not as hilarious on first view as Luigi Cozzi's Cyclops from Contamination, but it makes Carlo Rambaldi's Kong robot look like an Olympic gymnast.

Just about every beat from the end of Cameron's film is copied, or at least the ones Margheriti felt were most exploitable. The giant alien is attacked with heavy machinery. It has a version of the pharyngeal jaws of Giger's creation (sort of). There's even flamethrower action and a gut-busting climax involving a long fall. But I can see why James Cameron and Fox never bothered to sue, and you will, too.

There's more, of course, but I wouldn't want to ruin any more of this film for you than I already have. Sure, it's a rip-off flick, but it's so joyfully threadbare, you never really care. Plus, it does what it says it will do: Entertain you for 85 minutes with an adventure which is (eventually) about a giant alien from the deep. Maybe Bob the snake farmer sums it up best at the film's conclusion: "But if it was just a warning, who would want to believe it?" Who, indeed?

MVT: Charles Napier. The man's a consummate professional who plays it totally straight, and your interest automatically picks up when he's onscreen, ready to scowl and growl.

Make or Break: The alien, while not as well-done as Stan Winston's Queen Alien, really is the big draw, and it's a ton of fun watching it act like the star of Warhol's Empire.

Score: 7/10

Episode #134: Gangland Collector

Welcome back to another episode of the GGtMC!!!

This wee we continue our journey through Ladies Appreciation month with a couple gems picked from Kat and Emily. Emily picked Gangland (2001) from director Art Camacho and what a cast this thing has....Kat picked The Collector (1965) directed by William Wyler starring Terence Stamp and Samantha Eggar.

Direct download: Gangland_CollectorRM.mp3

Emails to midnitecinema!gmail.com

Voicemails to 206-666-5207

Adios!!!

Death Rage (1977): Review

Directed by: Antonio Margheriti
Starring: Yul Brynner; Martin Balsam; Barbara Bouchet

If you like Yul Brynner and harness racing, this might be the perfect film for you. Unfortunately, Brynner does not play a star jockey on the run from by the mob. Instead, he plays a retired hit man seeking revenge for his brother’s murder. That murder is set up quite well at the racetrack, and we are introduced to most of the seedy characters in Naples. Trying to keep the peace is top cop Martin Balsam, assisted (or hindered?) by his team of perpetually stunned looking police officers.

The scene shifts to New York where we meet Brynner, enjoying his retirement by spending his days fishing under the Brooklyn Bridge. He’s pissed off, and travels to Italy ready to get his vengeance on. He’s a cool customer, though, and no one is really certain as to his intentions, or when and/or how he will seek revenge.

Barbara Bouchet plays some sort of dancer. I’m not entirely sure if she’s actually a stripper, but the place where she works does not exactly look like the Naples Ballet. From what I’ve read, there’s a version of this film with lots of nudity. That’s not the one I saw. The only person who went topless in this one is Brynner, and that’s a very acquired taste.

The storyline is nothing new, but as Brynner’s progress is initially slowed down by a lapdog played by Massimo Renieri. Ultimately, he begins to train the young lad and inadvertently creates a new generation of mechanic. Another problem is that Brynner is haunted by flashbacks; impairing his vision. This is the titular ‘Death Rage’, created by a low budgets over-exposure technique every time Brynner’s about to kick ass. It’s cheesy, but a fun element.

The action is decent with some strong car chases (some good FIAT violence), and a well choreographed showdown in the subway tunnels midway through the movie. At one point, Brynner is saved by a marching band with impeccable timing. For J&B fans, there’s a whole stack of mini-bottles in one scene and, of course, we get a vegetable cart knocked over.

All in all, too much of the violence is either bloodless or off-screen. The film has a weird, synthy score with some elements better suited to a sci-fi film. It does work at times, particularly when the pan flute is introduced. It’s pretty middle of the road Euro-Crime fair, directed with efficiency by Margheriti and greatly assisted by the presence of Balsam and Brynner.

MVT: Brynner, in his final on-screen performance. He seems to be having a good time here, and brings a touch of class to the production. It's too bad we didn't get the chance to see him act after this film.

Make or Break: It's a break for me. There's some lame humour after the initial murder and it sets a tone that flows through the entire film. The one-liners are pretty terrible, and Renieri's character is the main culprit.

Score: 5.75 out of 10.

Preppies (1984): Review

Three ivy league students (Dennis Darke, Steven Holt and Peter Brady Reardon) have to pass their big economics exam in order to become the successful young men they are destined to be, but the dastardly Blackwel hires three sexy sirens hell bent on ruining everything.

This lesser sex comedy, produced by Playboy, is the one of the better offerings from the lower end of the spectrum. While there isn't an awful lot of actual sexiness going on at all, a misnomer considering all the boobs that are on display, it's plenty funny enough for it to almost not matter. Even if the two funniest characters get the least screen time. the money grubbing, sexual deviant Blackwel spends most of his screen time either in chains or toting a tommy gun, whilst sneering in that oh-so-villainous way. The other is a deluded idiot of a soap actor who interjects in the films climax to show how he might have performed it differently.

It's not new, it's not different, but it works. The gaggle of beauties include Linda Weismeier, who racked up appearance in Avenging Angel, Joysticks and Malibu Express. While she has little to do except look pretty and act like the biggest bimbo going, she is joined by The Toxic Avenger's Cindy Manion, Nitchie Barrett, who you may recognise from Shannon Tweed classic A Time To Die, and director of the oft-overlooked Stripped to Kill movies Katt Shea in the part of the ridiculous waspy girlfriend of our hero.

While the acting ranges from mediocre to just plain laughable, it's clear everyone is having the time of their lives at the various country clubs and mansion houses (and dive bars) that populate this little flick. It's also worth noting, for Gentlemen everywhere, that one of the girls turns up to party with a full case of J&B.

Chuck Vincent, as I am sure you are aware (you pervert), was a porn director for most of his career, racking up titles like Porn Flakes, Babes in Joyland and Dirty Lily. Vincent makes a good go at trying to direct but it's all a bit point-and-shoot for my tastes. There is a severe lack of any interesting visual flair, Vincent clearly has learnt to rely on his actors to provide the excitement, through his years shooting the likes of Samatha Fox and Vanessa del Rio. While this isn't his only production outside of the X rating, it's probably his best.

I mean, sure, it's terrible, but it's got a streak of innocence running through it that is almost entirely carried by lead, Dennis Drake. His wide eyed, open face approach to non-acting is so unnatural, it's actually gone full circle to the point where you wouldn't believe that an actor could be so naive and therefore it must be the character. It's an interesting approach, and one I am sure is entirely not intentional.

Because the film stands at about 82 minutes, when the inevitable climax is been and gone, you won't feel much. Maybe a warm sense of a quickly paced and reasonably enjoyable romp-com will keep you going for a few minutes, but in the end Preppies is ultimately forgettable aside from a few key scenes.

MVT: Obviously the only reason to watch this is for the laughs and the girls. The girls don't do a whole lot apart from connive, prostitute themselves, and occasionally get out their coveted mammaries, so the MVT has to go to the script. Really. Like all good 80s comedies it's a joke a minute, so even if two thirds of the jokes don't land right, you're still laughing.

Make or Break: While the lack of any originality, and the lack of much true raunch, should technically break this, there were two moments that really made it. The first was early on when a female character exclaims "I would love, just for one minute, to sit on that guy's face!"

The other is when the wasp chicks realise the have to put out or lose out, Katt Shea's character leads her bimbo buddy on a fake orgasm masterclass. It's truly hilarious and that image of two girls laid on separate beds, swinging their arms and cooing like it was some kind of Beetlejuice-esque haunting will stick with me for a long time to come.

Score: 7.25/10