Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Spookies (1986)

For the longest time, I thought Richard Corben was European (most likely French, but throw a dart, you know?).  The reason for this was twofold.  One, I had become familiar with his work like Den in the pages of Heavy Metal, a comic magazine which mixed sex and blood and sex and Science Fiction and sex and Noir and sex and Horror in a more unfettered fashion than was produced in America in the pages of books like Creepy or Nightmare.  The magazine was loaded with work by Europeans such as Moebius, Guido Crepax, and Milo Manara, making it more guilt by association than anything else in this regard.  Corben’s style was also unlike anything a kid raised on the likes of John Byrne or Jose Luis Garcia Lopez would be used to.  His figures very often had thick, bold outlines, and their features were often exaggerated.  Yet, his shading and detail work was smooth and realistic.  You could never be sure if his finished work was done in ink or pencil or a combination of the two (my understanding is that he uses models that he makes as reference for his art).  His art is deceptively simple-looking, a wildly successful mashup of “bigfoot” and “photorealistic” cartooning.  

This dichotomy is present in the poster art Corben produced for Eugenie Joseph’s (and Thomas Doran & Brendan Faulkner’s) Spookies.  The large image of villainous Kreon’s (Felix Ward) head is startlingly lifelike, while the figure of Isabelle (Maria Pechukas) is pure pulp comic book splendor.  So imagine my shock and awe when I discovered that Richard Corben was about as European as Benjamin Franklin, hailing from Missouri of all places.  The man, now in his seventies, is still working, with a miniseries titled Rat God due out this year.  The point of it all is that, if you’re given the opportunity between watching Spookies or staring at the poster art for ninety minutes, choose the latter.  That way, at least you won’t be disappointed.

In the backyard boneyard of a decrepit estate (I assume off Long Island) lies a tomb with a chained, breathing gravestone.  Beneath this,  Kreon fritters about, fawning over youthful bride Isabelle, counting off the seconds until they are reunited in eternal life.  Meanwhile, his catman-pirate-cowboy-servant-thing (Dan Scott) prowls around the grounds, preying on unsuspecting dolts like little Billy (Alec Nemser) who has run away from home because his parents forgot his birthday.  Enter two cars full of jerks, led by pleather-clad imbecile Duke (Nick Gionta) who just so happen to come upon Kreon’s old abode.  Needless to say, they enter against all logic, all hell breaks loose, et cetera, et cetera.

Without getting too involved in the behind the scenes story, Spookies actually began life as Twisted Souls under the guidance of Doran and Faulkner.  Theirs are the more wild, monster mash scenes and the narrative involving Duke, his improbable pal Peter (Peter Dain, who looks like he should be playing Duke’s father), and the rest of the partygoers’ misadventures in the house.  The film was taken from the duo and given to Joseph, who added the Kreon plot and all that entails.  You can read more about it here: https://thedissolve.com/features/oral-history/788-the-strange-saga-of-spookies/.  

I’m unsure what the producer thought he was doing by handing the film over, not from a dollars and cents angle, but from a common sense angle.  The scenes with Duke and company are grating, especially when anyone tries to act (and most especially when amateur puppet comic Rich [Peter Iasillo Jr] tries to be funny), but it’s no more formulaic or nonsensical than any bargain bin Slasher film.  The characters get split up and encounter gruesome ends.  What Doran and Faulkner do right is keep things lively with the variety of fiends.  There are Muck Men (who menace and fart simultaneously), a Grim Reaper statue that comes to life, snake-oid creatures that resemble the old Stretch Monster toy I had as a kid, and so forth.  The scenes inserted by Joseph not only don’t mesh well with the other footage (they are a bit more mean-spirited and skincrawling in tone), but they also serve to confuse the whole affair rather than providing a throughline on which to hang the disparate monster attacks.  Add to that the fact that the Kreon/Isabelle story gets dropped for stretches, making it stand out like the proverbial sore thumb whenever it’s rejoined.  Further, the Kreon/Isabelle plot has no seeming structure, so whenever it is cut to, you’re never quite sure what is supposed to be going on, why, or how much of a difference any of this makes (and that last part is its ultimate downfall, since the answer continuously comes back a resounding “none”).

The one interesting thing that the Kreon facet brings up is ideas about eternity and decay.  Kreon has kept Isabelle in the crypt for at least seventy years (that we’re told of), but whereas she has remained young and beautiful, Kreon is middle-aged and hideous.  His skin is a pasty blue-grey and a large vein pulsates in the middle of his head (I have something similar over my temples that throb when I get irritated).  The questions arise, has Kreon remained in this state since Isabelle went to sleep?  Was he once youthful and attractive like her, or was he always repulsive?  Nonetheless, if Kreon was never young, why did Isabelle marry him and have a son by him (A. J. Lowenthal), and if she did voluntarily wed Kreon and spawn his scion, why does she reject him so thoroughly and immediately when she awakens?  Also, if she saw her son before dying/whatever, did she not notice that he was monstrous in appearance?  Is that why she wound up in a coffin for seven decades in the first place?  There’s no real answer in the narrative, so the audience is left to construct its own history, but rather than giving a viewer something to mull over, to grow in their own mind, all of this only serves to confound and irritate.  What is even more dumbfounding is why something so incongruous from the entire rest of the film was allowed to be shot and then be shoehorned in.  I can understand wanting a return on investment, but what could the filmmakers have been thinking to put this out in its present state?  Did they expect no one to pick up on its sloppiness?  The more I think on it, the more I go from just being ambivalent on Spookies to actively disliking it.

MVT:  The monster effects are fun, in an amateur funhouse kind of way.  They make for some interesting visuals, so credit where it’s due on that.

Make or Break:  Any scene featuring Duke is guaranteed to either have you throwing things at your television or attempting to drown yourself in spaghetti sauce.  He’s that galling.

Score:  4/10    

Friday, February 6, 2015

Wolfcop (2014)









Directed by: Lowell Dean
Runtime: 79 minutes

This review is getting done a few months later than I had hoped. No time like now to correct this and talk about an awesome Canadian horror comedy film.

After a bizarre opening credits sequence the audience is introduce to Lou Garou. Lou is a deputy sheriff to the Woodhaven Sheriff's office and a burned out, alcoholic train wreck of a human being. The townspeople of Woodhaven have the same respect for Lou as he does for himself. Which is none at all. His job is just as bad as the people he serves. His boss the Chief is a hard ass and the other deputy sheriff Tina is better at her job than Lou is.

A call comes in from Willie, the town weirdo, about some odd things happening behind is gun shop. Lou goes over to investigate these claims and it looks a lot like bored teenagers making pentagrams to piss off their parents. Lou decides to be a professional and goes to the local cultural center for more information. Which consists of him sitting on his butt at the bar and drinking the rest of his shift away. This plan goes badly when the town's criminal element and the crusading mayoral candidate Terry Wallace both come into the bar to disrupt a quite day of drinking. Terry starts making a speech and the bar crowd yells at him and his supporters to leave.

Hours later Lou is just about to finish his hard day of drinking and protecting but another call comes in. Those kids are back behind Willie's place causing problems again. So Lou goes to investigate and stumbles on a coven of Satanists. Who promptly knock Lou out and make him part of their weird ritual that involves killing Terry. Lou wakes up in his own bed and thinks he just had a weird dream. Until he finds upside down pentagram craved into his chest. But that is not the only weird thing about him, he can get rid of his five o'clock shadow, his sense of smell has improved to the point of super human, and he kind of gives a damn about his job.

That same morning Terry is found killed by some sort of wild animal. This killing gets both Lou and Tina thinking about a similar event that happened over twenty years ago. Tina's father went missing and was never seen again and Lou's father went to find him only to be killed by some strange animal. Much later Lou goes somewhere he can think out things and sort things out. Yes he is in the bar getting drunk. However things are not right, the bar is closing early and Lou's alcohol tolerance has disappeared. Also some hired goons are in the process of kidnapping Lou. Unfortunately for the goons Lou is transforming into a werewolf with awesome practical effects.

The next morning Lou finds himself in a weird bed and handcuffed. Turns out he turned into a werewolf, killed most of the hired goons, and then was wandering the town in drunk blackout. Until Willie shot him with enough tranquiler darts to drop an elephant. Willie decides to study Lou's new condition and Lou volunteers to take the night shift so he can lock himself in one of the holding cells when the night comes. That night Lou again goes through an impressive practical werewolf transformation. This time around Lou is sober, a werewolf, and bored out of his mind. So when a call of an armed robbery comes into the station, Lou gets dressed, starts drinking, and starts enforcing the law.

A local gang that wears pig masks has been terrorizing the town in unstoppable crime spree. Tonight the piggy gang are robbing the local Booze and Donuts. So Lou and Willie show up and Lou either kills or scares the piggy gang out of existence. Fueled by a renewed love his job and alcohol inspires Lou to convert his squad car into the wolfmobile. Then to celebrate his new found love of murdering criminals and kind of enforcing the law, Lou and Willie go visit a meth lab. And Lou proceeds to kill most of the goons and leads to the destruction of the lab.

As the conclusion draws near more mysteries get explained and Lou has more fun being a werewolf and a cop. The end itself is entertaining and does not end in the predictable and cliche standard way cop comedies usually ends.

I have no problem recommending this movie. It is fun, weird, and has impressive practical werewolf transformation. At the time of this being posted there is only a UK blu-ray release of this movie that I am aware of and a North American release scheduled for March 2015.

MVT: Lou in the local library researching Woodhaven's odd history and standing up and shouting "Hey, do you have any books on satanism?"

Make or Break: What makes this movie for me is the use of practical effects and cgi is used when needed.

Score: 8.75 out of 10































Episode #323: Edge of Death River

Welcome back for another episode of the GGtMC!!!

This week we are sponsored by diabolikdvd.com and it was Sammy's turn to program the big show. We are covering Death Valley (1982) directed by Dick Richards and River's Edge (1986) directed by Tim Hunter!!!

Direct download: ggtmc_323.mp3

Emails to midnitecinema@gmail.com

Adios!!!



Episode #322: Mr. Zodiac

Welcome back for another episode of the GGtMC!!!

This week the Gents are joined by Miles from The ShowShow Podcast and writer for chud.com for coverage of Zodiac (2007) directed by David Fincher and Mr. Vampire (1985) dorected by Ricky Lau!!! It was great having Miles back on the show, always a great conversation between the three Gents.

Direct download: ggtmc_322.mp3

Emails to midnitecinema@gmail.com

Adios!!!



Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Patrick Still Lives (1980)


Marty Feldman scared the living shit out of me as a child.  A large portion of why has to do with his unmistakably protuberant eyes.  They looked all but ready to pop out of his skull at any given moment.  They were freakish to me.  The rest of his facial features were no less severe: he had a gaunt face, a bulbous nose, and if nothing else, he certainly looked like the son of Ukrainian immigrants that he was.  None of this was lessened by his sense of humor which could fairly be described as absurd (he did, after all, work with soon-to-be members of Monty Python’s Flying Circus on the series At Last the 1948 Show).  When I saw the trailer for In God We Tru$t, my fear only heightened.  It started off with a closeup of Feldman in direct address, and I felt like he was staring straight at me.  The shot of him walking with an extra set of legs hidden beneath his monk’s robe put me in mind of some nightmarish centaur.  The equally outlandish Andy Kaufman makeup did nothing to quell my fear.  It wasn’t until much, much later that the full appeal of Feldman truly hit me.  He was no monster.  He was an extremely funny and intelligent comedian who knew how to best use his unorthodox appearance to bring laughter to people’s hearts.  Today, I count him as one of my favorite comedic actors of all time.  I understand why I, as a child, was unnerved by the man: people who look far different from us can be unsettling when our world view is so small.  But we learn, we mature, and we begin to see the world as ludicrously as he sometimes did.  Even as I type this, I find myself singing “The Kangaroo Hop” from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes’ Smarter Brother in my head.  

In much the same way as Feldman’s eyes distressed me, so too did those of Robert Thompson in 1978’s original Patrick, but there at least the whole point was to frighten with those unblinking, seemingly dead orbs (in fact, Thompson’s face was similar in some aspects to Feldman’s).  All this said, I think that Mario Landi’s Patrick Still Lives (aka Patrick Vive Ancora) misses the boat in this regard.  The titular character still stares out at the audience with lifeless eyes, but Gianni Dei’s gaze doesn’t have the same impact, largely because his eyes (though a noticeable attribute) aren’t as exaggerated as Thompson’s.  He just looks like somebody with his eyes stuck open.

Patrick Herschel and his doctor father (Sacha Pitoëff) are broken down on the side of the road, when a passing motorist carelessly (or maliciously, depending) flings some object out of their car window as they pass, injuring Patrick.  Dr. Herschel saves his son’s life, but the young man lapses into a coma.  Several years later (and we are never told about how much time has passed until much further on in the narrative), five guests arrive at Dr. Herschel’s Wellness Resort for some off-season vacationing, but it’s not just their personal demons they’ll need to face.

 The original, Australian Patrick was, if my memory serves me correctly (it’s been a few decades), an effectively creepy, fun Horror film.  I know it was made on a low budget, and I would imagine it was profitable.  But either Landi and company were huge fans of what I always assumed was merely a cult favorite, or the Richard Franklin film did gangbusters business in Italy and/or Europe, because on the list of films one could choose to rip off, I wouldn’t consider Patrick anywhere near the number one spot.  But in the true Italian style of inimitable imitation, the filmmakers took the basic idea of the film, bound it, gagged it, and shoved it into a car trunk, sped down a highway in the wrong lane, and then veered the car right off the road, down a steep embankment.  And then blew it the fuck up.  Without giving away too much, let’s look a few examples.  Maid Meg (Anna Veneziano) is an extremely bizarre woman who just loves the vicious German Shepherds kept at the resort.  She also loves telling our lead (?) David Davis (Paolo Giusti) cryptic things about the danger he’s in and then refusing to expound on any of this.  David himself is about as charismatic and interesting as wet bread, and he seems not in the slightest bit concerned about the very odd goings-on at the estate (actually, the most animated character in the film is a secondary one, although the case could be made that they’re all secondary).  The story (such as it is) makes almost no sense, and the dialogue is some of the most bizarrely horrid stuff in the history of cinema.  To wit:  “It isn’t hard for me to love,” “It’s clear that [character’s] death was due to a fatality,” "Screaming women make me nervous, “ and “Drugs turned you into a faggot” (I could go on, but this will start to read like a commercial for a K-Tel compilation album).    

So, what do you do when your movie is the thinnest of veiled retreads?  You guessed it: ramp up the sleaze.  There are very few scenes in the film that don’t feature graphic nudity of some variety (male and female).  Every single female character, from the slutty Stella (Mariangela Giordano) to the chaste-ish Lydia (Andrea Belfiore) drops their kit at some point or another, and everyone sleeps in the buff (also above the sheets).  Adding to this, a couple of the movie’s murders happen while the characters are nude (or semi-nude), and this adds to the skincrawling joyousness of the whole affair.  There’s even a psychic rape that left me a bit awestruck.  Underpinning all of this is a rather cynical view of mankind.  These aren’t simply innocent victims gathered together for a slaughter.  Each of them has an unseemly side (with one exception I can recall), and none of them goes very far out of their way to even attempt redemption.  The various backgrounds from which the characters come are also telling for their breadth.  David is a rich, privileged youth, Lyndon Kraft (Franco Silva) is a member of the House of Lords, (yeah, I guess this next one may be a SPOILER, but come on, how could you not see this coming?) Stella is/was a prostitute, and so forth.  This condemnation of society is not class-based.  It is equal opportunity from the elite to the dross; a microcosm rotten to its core.  

Nonetheless, like so many other films that are no more than hot messes of various consistencies, I have to say I wound up enjoying Patrick Still Lives far more than I probably should.  The gore effects are nicely done and imaginative, the women are all attractive, and the plot is suitably bizarre enough to keep things moving (not at a gallop, to be sure, but at a decent trot).  Plus, this has one of those headscratcher endings that could be read multiple ways, so it somehow winds up working better than I could foresee and making up for some of the movie’s many deficiencies.  If only they could have gotten an actor with more character in his face to play the titular role.

MVT:  I have to give it to the sleaze factor in the film.  It’s rampant and unashamedly so.  You have to admire that, at least a little bit.

Make or Break:  There is a murder scene that takes place in the kitchen that simply amazed me, not only in what transpires but also in how explicitly it is all portrayed.

Score:  6.75/10