I’m just going to be plain about
this. I’m not a fan of snakes. I realize that there are people out there
(maybe even one or two reading this) who love them. I realize that, like most animals, they don’t
have it innately in for humans. I
realize that my fears of them are massively unfounded and irrational. But that’s the point. Many times, fear is irrational. It’s a ping deep in the darkest parts of the
human mind that puts you on edge. It’s
the idea that there may be some nefarious lurker in the basement with you, over
there in the part with no lights, just waiting to spring on you as you pass
by. Fear is the unknown. Fear is ignorance. Having said that, I still don’t think that,
even if I knew everything under the sun there is to know about snakes, I would
trust them in the slightest. This goes
back to my deep-rooted distrust of most things in this world. Call me a pessimist, but I prefer the term
pragmatist. For instance, I love dogs,
but I wouldn’t trust a strange one as far as I could throw it (and what with my
bad back and all…). This, of course,
cuts me off from certain life experiences, but you know what? I think I’m good with that (a mindset some
folks just can’t seem to wrap their heads around). Would I have the same phobia about snakes if
I had a pet snake like Mozler (where this name came from is anyone’s guess, and
my spelling is going solely from the way it sounded in the film) in Godfrey Ho’s Thunder of Gigantic Serpent (aka Daai Se Wong aka Terror
Serpent)? Possibly, but I’d still
take Lassie over this any day.
Thunder cracks on the soundtrack,
and snakes pour out of a mountainside.
Why? Because. Tense villain Solomon practices his beer can
target practice and declares his great need to own a formula that makes plants
(and soon animals, natch) huge so he can dominate the world food market. Scientists in league with the military (who,
if my eyes deceive me, have the Harley Davidson logo on their berets) kick off
something called Thunder Project when their base is set upon by Solomon’s
henchmen. Young Ting Ting plays with her
beloved and obedient Mozler, stumbles upon the formula, and – Voila! - next
thing you know, Mozler is Kong-sized (or in this case, I suppose it would be
more appropriate to say Manda-sized).
Oh, and Ted Fast (Pierre Kirby)
is inexplicably on the case, too.
Humans (with or without special
abilities) with special friends and/or pets (who almost certainly have special
abilities) have been around for, what seems like, eons. In everything from Flipper to E.T. to Willard and back again, there is a
commune forged between the innocence of youth and nature (films like Willard and Stanley and so forth are slight exceptions in regards to innocence
[though their protagonists normally start off as rather ingenuous before
heading down a dark path], but I think it means something that the main
characters in films like those are typically adults, not children). Kids have the ability in films like this to
touch something that adults usually can’t, and I think it comes from their
purity. Filmic kids see the world
differently, and have none of the jaded perspectives of folks like their
parents, authority figures, and so on.
This point of view is what creates the rapport children have with the
natural (and sometimes supernatural) world.
Their love for each other is unconditional, and they would go to the
ends of the Earth for one another (yet it’s often the non-human character who
winds up making the sacrifice for the human and not the other way around). Ting Ting and Mozler get along like a house
on fire (the snake even saves the girl from an actual one), and Mozler appears
to have the brain capacity of, if not a college graduate, a fourth grader. He understands what Ting Ting says and nods
in agreement with her when she asks him questions. This is before he grows. Afterwards, they toss a ball back and forth to
each other. But, as I’ve been trying to
intimate, I don’t think it’s that Mozler is special in and of himself, so much
as it is Ting Ting who is able to bring this out in the serpent. Had the snake been with another child, I
don’t think he would have been nearly so exceptional (and if Ting Ting had a
pet lepidopteran, she may have inadvertently created Mothra).
Knowing what little I do about Ho’s work, I was kind of surprised at
how many special effects are on display in this film. Mozler is usually depicted as a duo of hand
puppets, one for his head and one for his tail, with his midsection
conveniently hidden out of frame, though we do get a life sized prop of his
giant head that Ting Ting rides around on for a bit. I’m a sucker for miniature work and practical
monster effects, even when they don’t quite stick the landing (I am, for
example, perfectly fine with the marionette from The Giant Claw). That is not
to say that the effects are very good, but they are plentiful and kind of fun.
Ho was notorious for making
Frankenstein films. In other words, he
(and frequent producing partner Joseph Lai)
would buy the rights to one film, shoot some additional scenes (oftentimes with
white actors to give them, I’m guessing, an international flavor) and then edit
everything together in a patchwork fashion whose seams not only show but also
threaten to burst open at the slightest touch.
This is why many of his films feel like two films smashed together (or
three of four, for all I know); Because they were. This also explains the schizophrenic,
disjointed, nature of his films. Scenes
rarely lead one into another. Characters
(like our own Ted Fast) act as if they are in their own storyline which ties in
only tangentially to the main storyline, popping up every so often to have a
martial arts scuffle and then disappearing again from the film for a long
stretch (or even the remainder of the runtime).
It’s an economy of filmmaking (one could even call it a dearth of
economy of filmmaking) that leads to some very odd choices (and what I would
argue is the primary reason for Ho’s
fanbase). Characters often have
information there is no way they could possibly have just to keep the movie
hopping along. Sequences just happen for
no motivated, structured reason. There
are long scenes of characters watching one another and then reporting back to
their superiors rather than actually taking any sort of action or talking and
saying nothing outside of some exposition and filler. Still and all, I did find myself enjoying
this film to an extremely minor degree, lumps and all. If you’re familiar with what a Godfrey Ho film is like, you know
precisely what you’re getting here. If
you’re not familiar with his oeuvre, this is as good a place to start as any.
MVT:
Giant Mozler is the tops for me.
I have always loved giant monsters, I always will, and Thunder of Gigantic Serpent shows their
giant monster quite often (wires and all), so I got my fix.
Make or Break: The Make is the first time you realize that
Mozler is actually reacting to what Ting Ting is saying to him. If you can go along with this, you can go
along with everything else in the film.
Score:
6/10
