Candid Cuties: Best of the Best, Indeed

When not busy winning international martial arts tournament against Team Korea, Eric Roberts has been known to spend much of his time tantalizing those that dare to glance his way.

It's difficult to tell if E.R. (short for Emergency Room, 'cause that's where the ladies end up after a night taking a ride on Roberts Runaway Train) is giving the hard SHHH sign like he has some sort of sexy secret to share, or if he is actually so irresistible that he cannot help but kiss his own finger. From the looks of it, he might be working on kissing something else the way his right hand is working them underwear right there. There's another Runaway Train joke in that last sentence somewhere…

Music to Work Out To

Or, make love to, but who's getting any ass if they ain't working out first? Unless you got the cash, you best get the abs, and thankfully for all of us poor folk, 80's French Heavy Metal band, Nightmare, has just the right track for us to pump-up to (not that kind of pump). Even better, the band takes the time to show us the proper techniques, as well as the proper attire (shitless with tight red pants, naturally), for a pump that would make Lee Haney proud.   

What really stands out immediately is how unimpressive Nightmare are as a buff band. They certainly aren't The Misfits. However, much like an instructional video, Nightmare shows you where to start, then, thanks to the power of editing, the video goes to shots of a ripped dude wearing only black undies and doing butterfly presses, which shows you where you can be with a little hard work and a whole lot of METAL! The key components are all there: A live Metal performance in a gym, a nearly naked guy working it hard, a bunch of shirtless jean wearing metal heads doing synchronized pull-ups, air guitar celebrations and of course, Sylvester.  

The band may be called Nightmare, but they sure are a dream come true.