Monday, May 6, 2013

Candy Stripe Nurses (1974)

Writer and Director Alan Holleb

Runtime: 76 minutes

This is the kind of movie that got me interested in midnight movies in the first place. Lots of topless actresses, a plot you can take or leave and funky bass guitar for background music. And my b movie hero Roger Corman produced this movie through New World Pictures.

The movie opens with a cartoonish opening showing candy stripe nurses getting into sexual high jinks with the doctors and patients. Sadly the opening music has more in common with a dental drill than music. I strongly suggest hitting mute through this as it gets annoying quick.

The first candy striper we are introduced to is Marisa (played by María Rojo). Marisa is a rebel because she is wooden stake and ignoring the stereotypical nice guy trying to ask her out to a Owen Boles concert. She is forced into becoming a candy striper because a teacher took away her stake carving knife so she beats the living daylights out of that teacher.

Our stereotypical nice guy then introduces the second candy striper Dianne (played by Robin Mattson). A hipster, soon to be medical student and all around art snob. She is becoming a candy striper to gain experience in the medical field. Dianne blows off the nice guy by saying Owen Boles has never been able to sing the right note.

The last candy striper is Sandy (played by Candice Rialson). She meets the stereotypical nice guy off screen and he gives both tickets to her because she is nicest girl he talked to all day. She explains all this to her doctor boyfriend and then tells him about how he is taking to that same concert. Sandy is a straight A student who has her doctor boyfriend do her homework and always willing to hop into bed with any guy as part of her candy striper duties.

The boob free plot is straight forward and in three sections. Section one is Marisa carrying out her punishment as a candy striper. She meets a guy wrong fully accused of a gas station robbery and decides to help clear the guy's name for no real reason. During her investigation she finds a reluctant witness to the robbery, the guys that committed the gas station robbery and gets shot. All of this leads to the charges being dropped and Marisa being less of rebel.

In section two, Dianne starts her candy striper career by annoying the living daylights out of a doctor stupid enough to allow her to follow him around. This leads her to meet the college basket ball star who comes her love interest. He is addicted to amphetamines and Dianne saves his life after his drug addiction actions lead  to another trip to the hospital.

In the last section, Sandy takes a break from sleeping with the doctors and patients. Instead she volunteers to be the sectary for the hospital’s sex clinic. While there she sets herself up as a sex therapist so she can sleep with  Owen Boles (played by Kendrew Lascelle). Owen had to go to the sex clinic because his music was suffering due to getting too much willing sex from groupies. Sandy helps him by first rejecting him and nearly getting raped by him as well.

This movie is billed as a comedy thriller but fails at both. The comedic part are forced and stupid for the sake of being stupid. The best example of this is the cop at the end of the movie that can't get his gun out of the holster and need the criminal to help him. This movie also is about as thrilling as an episode of Scooby-Doo.

MVT: Well shot, cast who give a damn about being there and some beautiful actresses.

Make or Break: The opening and closing music (it is the same damn song) broke it for me. I know licensing music is expensive even back in the 1970's. But for the love of Cthulhu hire someone who can sing without being annoying.

Score: 5.25/10

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